Chapter One
Kaitlyn
Six years was a long time to hold a grudge.
I sat in my bedroom windowsill and watched as the black SUV pulled up outside the house next door. I bit my lip, half considered ducking out of sight then decided against it. Twice.
The apology I'd rehearsed fifty different ways still seemed like it wasn't good enough. I'd ruined his life. Or saved it. Depending on how he looked at it. And six years was a long time for me to wonder which it was.
The doors of the SUV remained closed and I could only see the top of a bottle green baseball cap from my vantage point.
Over the years I'd begun to wonder if he would ever come home, hoping that I'd done him a favour by getting him sent away that day.
I wished he'd called me. Or written. Anything just to let me know he was okay.
I could still remember the day that his family had moved in next door. It was a sticky August afternoon and I'd been playing in the front yard with my brother Reese, jumping over the sprinklers in our swimsuits. We'd been arguing about something when my brother pushed me over, straight into the mud. Before I could even scream for Mom, a skinny twelve year old with dark hair and a black eye had appeared from nowhere, scooped up a handful of mud and flung it straight into my brother's laughing face.
"You shouldn't hit girls," he'd said firmly, offering a hand to me and yanking me upright.
Mud ran down the backs of my legs and the sun half blinded me as I’d stared at my saviour with the kind of unquestioning instant love only a five year old can feel.
The sound of my bedroom door opening made me jump and I turned to see my best friend Lacey toss her bag into the middle of my bed. She was in her red and white cheerleading uniform and I groaned as I realised I should be wearing mine too. There was a football game tonight.
"I was waving to you as I came down your drive," she said. "And you didn't even notice me."
"Oh, sorry, I wasn't looking that way..." I glanced back out of the window towards the SUV. He still hadn't opened the door.
"Is he back then?" Lacey asked dramatically, rushing across the room to peer over my shoulder.
"I think that's his truck," I said, nodding at it. "He's still in it."
"So he's just sitting outside his mom's house, peeking in the windows like a creep?" Lacey wrinkled her nose and I rolled my eyes at her, forcing myself to vacate the windowsill. I was going to be late for school if I didn't hurry and now I had to add in a wardrobe change too.
"I guess he doesn't know what to say to her." I dropped into the chair in front of my dressing table and pulled a brush through my long dark hair once more. I glanced at my makeup indecisively and Lacey selected a deep red lipstick for me, saving me from choosing myself.
I pouted as I applied it and Lacey leaned around me, using some of my eyeliner to top up her own makeup.
I ducked out of her way and headed to my wardrobe, rummaging in the bottom for my cheer uniform and quickly shedding my clothes to put it on. There was something about wearing the uniform that made me feel a little less like myself. When I was so obviously labelled as part of the squad, my own personality didn't seem to matter so much anymore. Sometimes I didn't like it but other times the anonymity of being a cheerleader rather than just Kaitlyn was reassuring.
"I'm finally starting to catch a tan," I said as I glanced in the mirror at my now golden skin. I'd spent the weekend firmly planted in the back yard in a bikini with determination to rid myself of my winter paleness. It was questionable whether it had really been warm enough for sunbathing but Demi made us wear fake tan if we looked too pale for her liking and I hated the stuff.
"I'm glad I don't have that problem," Lacey laughed as I eyed her flawless dark skin enviously. "I heard Tara got burnt while she was away last week," she added in a low voice.
I almost glanced over my shoulder to check that Demi wasn't behind me before replying. My fear of our cheer captain was getting out of hand. She could make my life miserable if I did something to piss her off so I always guarded my tongue when it came to her unless I was talking to Lacey. The rest of the team were great but they had no idea how to keep their mouths shut.
"I hope she's not too red," I said. "Demi will go ape if her skin starts peeling before the next game."
"If it's bad she'd be better off ditching school until it's better, say she's got mono or something," Lacey said seriously.
I nodded my agreement but I knew Tara would be in today. No way her mom and dad would let her ditch right after having a week out to go on holiday.
I grabbed my bag and headed for the door, casting one last glance at my window before heading onto the landing.
"Heads up cheerios!" my brother Reese yelled as a football slammed into my open bedroom door about two inches above my head.
I let out a scream of anger, grabbed the ball and launched it back at him, missing by a few feet as he leapt down the stairs to escape me. I could hear him laughing with his idiot friend Jason downstairs.
"You're such a jackass!" I yelled after him, just before I heard the front door bang shut. I let out a growl of anger. "I can't wait to go to college and get away from him!"
Lacey laughed and we made our way downstairs slowly, giving Reese and Jason plenty of time to leave so that we wouldn't have to walk in with them.
"Have you seen Ryan over the weekend?" Lacey asked casually as I grabbed an apple and took a bite. I glanced in the fridge but there wasn't much more than half a carton of milk and an old yogurt that had been there way too long. I pushed the door shut with a sigh. Looked like I was buying lunch again then.
"No..." I took another bite of my apple and held the door open for Lacey.
"You don't exactly sound upset about that," she commented as we moved down the hall and outside, pausing while I locked up.
"It's not that, I just...
" I wasn't even sure what the end of that sentence was and Lacey seemed to know it too. It wasn't as if Ryan had done anything wrong. He was tall and charming and nice, surely that should be more than enough?
"You've been dating for a few months now, shouldn't you be wanting to spend more time with him, not less?" Lacey pushed as we started heading down the street.