“She will be, and when you’re fucking her one day, I know you’ll be thinking of me.” He steps back after delivering the truth in a harsh whisper.
“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Jarred,” I tell him, attempting to school my features, and I pray it works. I don’t want him to be angry with me. This isn’t my choice. If I could decide, I’d tell my father that I’m bisexual. I wouldn’t hide the truth because I want the world to know I’m in love with Jarred Beaumont, but I can’t. Not when I know what Father will do, he’ll send Jarred away.
“And lying doesn’t look good on you, Finn,” he sneers as his top lip curls with disgust, and the glint of his lip ring sparkles in the light that shines from the kitchen window. It bathes him in a soft, yellow glow, which only seems to make my little monster shimmer with intent. “Perhaps I should leave.” His words are low, nothing more than a breath, but I feel them right down to my soul, as if he’s taken a blade and stabbed me right through my core.
“Are you threatening me?” I take a step toward him, but he doesn’t cower. Instead, he straightens. We’re the same height, similar build, with lean muscle in all the right places. The only difference is my hair is much longer and my eyes are almost black. My mouth is a hairsbreadth away from his; I can almost taste the minty freshness of his toothpaste.
“What if I was?” Jarred challenges, those steel eyes shimmer with confidence. His tongue darts out, teasing my lips as he licks along the seam, sending heat shooting through every inch of my body.
“Don’t fucking tempt me, Jay,” I warn, leaning in closer, so our lips are locked in a burning kiss. But I don’t touch him. That’s one thing I’ve learned about him, Jarred wants me to touch him. He craves the connection, but I’m a bastard, and I don’t give him what he needs because he’s going to bring up the upcoming nuptials.
“Why? Because you’re going to run to your fiancée and tell her just how much you want to suck my dick?” His words burn right through me as I grip his neck in my hand, tightening my fingers around the column until his sinister grin tilts his perfectly pouty lips. “I thought so.”
I can’t stand it anymore, so I allow my fingertips to cut off his breath. A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I take in his eyes as they widen. His pupils dilate, and I know if I were to touch his cock, he’d be rock hard right now. And how I’d love to do that. I swipe my tongue along his parted lips, first the top, then the bottom. When he taunts me with his own tongue, I suck it into my mouth, before grazing my teeth along his lower lip. A groan of pure bliss vibrates through his chest, and just as he’s letting go and falling into the desire that’s swirling between us, I release him.
“Don’t ever fuck with me,” I tell him with a bite to my tone. But Jarred knows me. And I know him. We’re one and the same, and when my little princess gets here, she’ll either learn who I truly am and run, or stay and watch the show.
“Is she pretty?” he asks as he picks up my still full mug and takes a sip of my drink. The coffee must be cold by now, but he doesn’t seem to mind. We’ve always been like this. When my brothers were at home, he didn’t come near me. And if he did, it was friendly, nothing more. Damien and Cassian never paid any attention to him. And I was thankful for that.
Our relationship is different when we are in private, it’s so much more than two friends hanging out.
“She is.” I haven’t told him much about Zaria. Not because I don’t trust him, but because I’m not sure where this puts us. Jarred is the one person who knows all my darkness, all my secrets, and he’s accepted every sinister part of me.
“So, are you ready to play house yet?”
“No.” This time, I turn to regard him as I lift another coffee cup to my lips, which is steaming, blurring my vision of the man who’s made me feel after my heart had given up. “This isn’t my choice.”
He sighs. We’ve had this conversation so many times. Since I found out about my father’s decision to marry me off to some wench, I sat Jarred down and explained my situation.
We came up with a solution, marry the girl and then tell her to find herself someone to please her when she needs it. But there is another option, one I didn’t want to consider, one that even Jarred didn’t voice.