I think he’s lying.
Mainly because when he does glance my way, I notice the proud smile that graces his lips. Over the years, it’s changed somewhat. And now that I’m moving on in school, a year ahead of my peers, I’ve seen it morph into a shocked, yet happy grin that makes my chest full.
“Zaria.” My mother’s voice comes from my bedroom door. It’s tight with annoyance, and I know that when I turn to look at her, I’ll find the same pinched expression as she glares at me.
“Yes, Mom,” I finally respond and glance her way.
Her arms are folded in front of her chest. “Why aren’t you ready yet?” The clipped words cause me to wince. I look over at the dress she expects me to wear and I can’t help but shiver.
“I think this outfit is a bit—”
“It’s a designer gown,” she tells me curtly. “You’ll wear it and you’ll sell it with your figure. I’ve asked Damiano to make sure that every nuance of the dress showcases your figure.” My mother is the complete opposite of Dad. She’s convinced that women should marry for money and learn to love their husbands. Also, she’s of the mind that I’m ready to walk out into society and display my assets, so I can find a suitor who’ll be worthy of her approval.
“I just don’t—”
“I wish you’d listen to me for once and stop playing to your father’s wishes. I’m a woman in this world that’s filled with men who want to control every aspect of our lives. If you were to marry into the right family, you’ll be able to offer some semblance of intelligence to your husband’s fortune.”
I want to fight and argue, but I know it’s no use. When she’s in this mood, my father ignores her and spends most of his time at the piano. It’s how I learned to play.
“Sure.” It’s all I can say before she leaves me to get ready. I slowly slip into the soft pink dress that leaves my back completely bare. The skirts fall to the floor, covering my feet, while the front has two straps of material that cover my barely-there breasts. I’m uncomfortable. I don’t like this, but I know if I were to try to push back, she’d find some way of guilting me into it.
Sighing, I slip on my shoes and make sure my hair is still falling in soft waves down my back. Thankfully, Mom hasn’t forced me to wear any makeup. So once I’m ready, I make my way down the stairs to find Dad in the music room. It’s empty except for the enormous piano sitting against the one wall. From the small bench, you can look outside, taking in the manicured gardens beyond.
He stops playing as I enter and looks me over. I can tell from his furrowed brows he doesn’t like the dress. But instead of saying something, he smiles. “You look a vision, darling,” he says as he pushes to his feet and comes toward me. He presses a kiss to my forehead, his hands holding onto my shoulders.
“We’re going to be late,” Mother says from the doorway. There’s a sense of anxiety that hangs in the air between my parents, and even though I’m not sure what it is, I know that it’s not good. My father’s grimace is enough to confirm this, and when I glance at Mom again, she’s rolling her eyes and turning away.
“Is something wrong?” The words fly from my mouth quickly, as my gaze flicks back to the man who’s been a rock to me. All my life, he’s been there. When I skinned my knee, when I broke my arm, even when I first got my period, he was the one who got in the car and took me to choose tampons. My mother was far too involved in her social circles to worry about a daughter who needed advice.
“No, darling,” Dad says as he wraps a strong arm around my shoulders. “She’s just stressed.” But even as he says it, there’s a hint of pain lacing his words. It was in that moment, I knew if my mother were to ever walk away from my father, I would choose to live with him.
“Okay.” Even as I say the word, it feels like a lie. It’s not alright for him to be so tense on my birthday. And it’s most certainly not okay for my mother to treat him, or me, like she does. But no matter how difficult it gets between them, my father doesn’t walk out.
We make our way in silence to the venue, which my mother had organized. I’m sixteen. It’s time for me to be introduced into society. With Los Angeles being so focused on social status, we’re having one of the biggest parties in the city to celebrate.