King Asshole

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Too mad to come and sit with me?”

“I’m going to drink the hot chocolate, and then I’m going to bed. We’re not friends right now.”

“Fine. Fine.”

She took the hot chocolate from him, and as they sat together on the sofa, he liked that she’d accepted his gift. He’d not wanted her to be mad at him for ruining her date. He didn’t even want to think about her fucking any man.

One day it was going to happen. He knew it was, and he’d have to be ready for that because he didn’t like the thought of her not being here. She was a pretty decent roommate.

At least, for now, he’d made it up to her, and he wouldn’t worry. Maybe he should fuck a couple of women outside of the apartment. Go to their place so it wasn’t awkward.

Yeah, he’d do that.

****

Two nights later

Dani was pulled out of her sleep by the sound of vomiting. Rolling over, she saw it was a little after 3:30. What on earth was making that sound?

Getting to her feet, she left her bedroom, and found the bathroom door wide open. Jax was on his knees, face inside the toilet, spewing up his guts.

“Jax, you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” he asked. “Is this what someone does if they’re okay?” He stopped to continue spewing.

“Did you have a lot to drink or something?” She went into the bathroom and began to rub his back, aware of his body covered in ink.

He was a large, muscular man, but right now, he didn’t look the least bit attractive as he continued to vomit into the toilet.

“I don’t know what has happened.”

Vomit.

“I never get sick.”

“Did you drink a lot?”

“I’ve not had a drink in over a week.”

More vomit.

She ran her hand up and down his back.

“Have you eaten something bad?”

“The only food I’ve eaten is what you’ve left in the fridge.” He glared at her. “Did you cook something bad?”

“Vomit in the toilet, Mr. Judgey. The food in the fridge is fine.”

He kept on throwing up.

Moving toward the small window, she pushed it open, letting the odor disappear, or at least give her the illusion it was fading. It stank really bad.

“You mentioned on the date night you ruined that people at your work were getting sick.”

“You don’t understand, Dani. I never get sick. Never, ever.”

“Really, never ever?”

“Never. I don’t do sick.” He groaned, grabbing his stomach.

“If that’s the case, you’ve been hit by the sickness fairy. If you can’t get sick, it’s the only way this can happen.”

“Come on, Dani, this is no time for jokes.”

“So you’ve got to accept that you’re ill.”

“No, it hurts.”

“Wow, you really are a baby, aren’t you?”

“You’re going to get sick.”

“I feel perfectly fine.”

He resumed vomiting.

Tucking some hair behind her ear, she stared at him.

She could just leave him. He was a royal pain in the ass at the best of times, and already he sounded cranky. Still, the good in her wouldn’t allow her to leave a sick man, no matter how much of an ass he was that he spoiled her fun.

Rubbing his back, she stayed with him.

When he stopped being sick, she cleaned up his mess, helped him brush his teeth, and splashed some water on his face. “There.”

“I need to shower,” Jax said. “I’m hot all over. I can’t go to bed like this.”

“Then you’re going to have to get in the shower.” She folded her arms and he tried to get up, but he was really struggling.

“I need help, Dani.”

“Fine. Fine.”

She turned the shower on, checked the temperature to make sure it wasn’t too hot or too cold, and then moved toward him.

“Do not think this is a come on, or anyway for me to try and get in your pants.”

“Dani, I’m sick. You know I wouldn’t do that.”

“Good.” She reached down and tugged his boxer briefs down. Without looking at his dick, she stepped behind him, guiding him toward the shower. He could walk, but his movements were really slow.

She’d heard about the whole man flu thing, but this was ridiculous.

She had been sick many times herself and didn’t have anyone around to take care of her. This just strengthened her belief that women had a higher pain threshold than men. Thinking about it, they had to deal with menstrual cramps every twenty-one days. Men wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of pain.

The moment he hit the warm water, she heard him moan.

“That feels so good. I’m sorry, big guy. You’re not getting any action for a little while. Damn, I’ve never seen you this small before.”

“Are you seriously consoling your dick right now?”

“I like to fuck and to get laid, and right now, I’m not going to get any of those things. Fucking sickness.”

“Yeah, well, a lot of us like that, Jax. Some of us have asshole roommates that spoil that for us.” Fred hadn’t called back or even arranged for another date. As much as she hated to admit it, Jax probably did her a favor. Anyone who couldn’t handle her roommate wouldn’t be able to deal with her. Jax’s apartment was kickass. Not only was the space amazing for the cost, he lived in a nice neighborhood, had their own personal laundry room down in the basement, which she found a lot of fun. Then of course there was his stripper pole, and besides not butting into his personal life, which she never had any interest in doing, it was a pretty solid living arrangement.