Caleb was too young. Grace was too young.
I stare ahead as we cart the coffin toward the other tombstones, and my gaze eventually lands on Tor standing beside the pile of red dirt to the side of my sister’s grave. And she’s what I focus on. The breeze catches her dyed hair, shadowing the fallen expression on her face as we place the coffin on the ground.
I step back and grab her hand, pulling her to my side and knowing she is the only damn thing that can give me any sense of peace or hope. She’s the only thing that isn’t death and destruction.
"He's with his pops now." Marney chokes a little as he moves away from the graveside. "We'll make this right, Caleb. I promise you and your pops we will."
The first shovel of dirt hits the casket, followed by the next. I close my eyes, but still can’t block out the sound of earth raining down to cover my brother. With each shovelful thrown into the grave, I break a little more. A lifetime of memories flip through my head like a tattered movie reel and abruptly stop, the loose end of the film slapping as the reel tries to continue rolling because this shouldn’t be where his life ends. And that’s when I break. I hang my head, and I fucking cry. For my brother. For my mother and sister and father. For my Tor.
When the last bit of dirt is placed on the grave, Tor presses her face into my throat, her tears wetting my skin. Life is suffering. Goddammit, it is.
I rest my chin on the top of her head, and I fight back the onslaught of emotions, finally finding that ember of anger and breathing life into it.
Tom Campbell has taken everything from me, and I vow to take everything from him.
***
Later that night, I’m in my office trying to sort shit out when my phone dings.
I stare at the text, taking a long drag from my cigarette. The message reads: I let you find her. I left her like that just for you. I'll be coming for you soon, but until then
There’s an attachment. One I know I shouldn’t open.
The blurry video slowly comes into focus. Tor lies on the floor, covered in blood, clothes ripped. Someone shoves Caleb in front of her, and my entire body sinks.
"You will fuck her. And I'm going to film it. I'm going to send it to Jude," Tom’s voice heats my blood.
I watch in horror as Caleb refuses to rape her, as Tor press the gun to her forehead, daring Joe to shoot her. She looks like she barely has the strength to sit up, but there's determination in her words that damn near breaks me.
Joe smiles at her, and then, without warning he turns and puts a bullet between Caleb's eyes. The sound of that gunshot and Tor’s screams echoe in my ears. Waves of anger and grief pound over me. And I shut them out.
Whatever he has planned, I will fuck that right up. He wants me dead? Fine
Chapter Tor
They say funerals bring closure. They don’t.
I lie awake, unable to sleep, too afraid of what awaits me when I close my eyes. Caleb, always Caleb. His sweet face–and Tom’s disgusting grin. Pain and suffering and degradation, all wrapped up in bone-deep grief. So I don’t sleep, but I’m not really awake either. Just drifting in an endless fog.
The first gray light of dawn drifts around the edges of the heavy curtains, and I listen to the joyful trill of bird call, blending with Jude's heavy breaths behind me.
He’s wrapped around me as though he can shield me from all my demons, and honestly, it feels like his arms are all that is holding me together most days.
I know he’s suffering, that he grieves for his brother, and I want to help him, but I can’t. I can’t even help myself.
Jude stirs, and I tense when a kiss whispers over my shoulder. The feel of hot breath on my neck, the restraint… My heart rate ticks up and I struggle out of his hold before getting out of bed and rushing to the bathroom. The moment the door closes, I suck in ragged breaths, trying to calm my racing heart.
“Tor.” Jude’s voice comes from the other side, but I don’t answer him. He lets out a heavy sigh. “I need to go out for a while.”
A fissure of alarm rings through my head. I don’t want him to leave me here. Tom is coming for me, can’t he see?
“Marney’s here,” he says. “But I can stay if you need me–”
“No.” As much as I like the safety of his presence, I also need a minute alone. He’s always watching me, like he expects me to fall apart any second. “I’m fine.”