“You’ve had a lot of girlfriends over the years,” Beck said.
“Coming from you?” I asked. “Are you serious?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgement. I’m saying you’re a serial monogamist. Nothing wrong with that but if in eighteen months you’re going to get bored, you won’t want to deal with a bad situation at the office.”
“I’m not going to get bored.” Not in eighteen months. Not in eighteen years. “Life with Sofia could never be boring.”
Dexter grinned like he knew exactly what I meant.
“I got me one of those,” Joshua said. “Sometimes I wonder how I ever put up with such a dull existence before Hartford.”
“Yep, none of the women we decided to commit to are boring. That’s for sure,” Beck said.
“So if you’re saying you’re committed to this woman for the long term, you might find working together makes things easier,” Beck said. “At least you know how each other operates, and you trust each other.”
I shook my head. “I can’t be with her and be her boss. It’s not fair. You all know that I’ve learned that lesson.” I’d come so close to coming apart after being fired, I knew I could never go back and make the same mistake and I was certain I couldn’t inflict that on anyone else.
Silence circled the table. Everyone knew my rule on not dating at work was hard and fast.
Maybe part of me was hoping one of my friends around this table would have an idea that I hadn’t thought of, but when I looked up, all I saw was concern. Not a solution among them.
“I’m sure you’ve thought of everything, mate,” Dexter said. “I just know that if I hadn’t broken the rules for Hollie, my life would be . . . I can’t imagine me without her.”
I wasn’t Dexter. I didn’t bend rules. For a few days, Sofia had convinced me that boundaries could be redrawn but the reality was, the foundations of my rules were too deep to undo. Sofia had just been a temporary crack that needed to be repaired.
“I get that you don’t want to repeat history,” Tristan said, then took a sip of his beer. Yep. He got it. I wasn’t going back there. “But if I remember correctly, it wasn’t the fact that you were fucking your boss that was the problem.” Scratch that. He didn’t get it at all. I could feel the blood in my veins heat. He’d seen the state of me during that time. How could he forget? “The issue was the person you were sleeping with—a woman you cared about, from what I recall—gave you up, sacrificed you to save her own skin. She betrayed you.”
I pulled in a breath, trying to keep the memories from flooding back. My past was in my past. I was trying to make sure I didn’t go back there. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Would Sofia ever do that to you?” Tristan said, not willing to let me be. “Would she betray you in that way?”
“Of course not,” I snapped. “Sofia isn’t anything like—” I couldn’t bring myself to utter the name of the woman who’d almost destroyed me. “She’s loyal and loving and the most trustworthy person—” I stopped midsentence as I started to process what Tristan was saying.
“And you’re nothing like that woman from before,” Tristan continued. “You’re loyal and trustworthy. You’re a little irritable here and there, but you’re a good person. You’d sacrifice yourself before betraying anyone. You’re not her. Sofia’s not her. You’re not going to repeat history. It’s impossible.”
“It’s a good point, Tristan,” Gabriel said. “The issue isn’t intra-office relationships. It’s about the people having them.”
If what Tristan and Gabriel were saying was right, then my rules and lines in the sand had all been misplaced. Had I really been so adamant about guarding against repeating history, I’d been fighting on the wrong front?
“So what problem have we solved?” I asked. “It’s still not great to be dating someone who works for you.”
“You’re telling us that Sofia is the person you want to spend time with, spend your life with,” Beck said. “If she’s that special, it’s worth finding a way through.”
“She’s the exception,” Gabriel said. “And when you marry her, your relationship will always be exceptional because she’s your wife.”
I was going to marry her? I let Gabriel’s words sink in, half expecting them to feel ridiculous and uncomfortable, but it was just the opposite. It felt so easy.
Of course I wasn’t going to repeat history, because it was Sofia.
Of course I was going to marry her, because she was Sofia.
Of course she was exceptional, because she was Sofia.
“Is this how you lot felt when you met . . .”
“Hollie?” Dexter asked. “Absolutely. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her.”