“Everything.”
Frustrated by his eerie calm, I felt a sizzle of irritation coursing through my veins. “I’m going to need more than one-word answers, Andrew. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I wasn’t expecting you today. I’ve not figured out exactly what I need to say. But I do know that I don’t like being without you. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
I sighed. “Well, that makes two of us.”
“But it’s more than that. Since you starting at Verity, I’ve realized how . . . God, I’m trying really hard not to sound like I’m negotiating a business deal, but I’m not good at this stuff.” He banged his fist on his desk.
I covered it with my hand. “It’s me, Andrew. Just talk. We’ll figure it out.”
He looked at me and swept his fingers over my cheekbone. “I’m in love with you.”
My breath hitched in my chest and my heart fought to free it. “You’re in love with me?”
He chuckled. “Yes. I don’t want to be without you. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”
“But what about the separation between work life and—”
“Honestly, I’m not sure I have a solution to that yet. I still don’t think me being your boss is a good idea. Even when we’re married.”
I stood up like someone had stuck a cattle prod up my ass. “Married?” I’d come in here for a bonus, not a husband.
He stood up too, those soulful eyes fixed on mine. “I mean if. If we—I mean . . . Even if we’re—unless.” He stopped himself. “I’m fucking everything up. I hate being unprepared.” He marched around his desk and sat in his usual chair.
My mind was racing, trying to keep up with what the hell was going on.
“These are the facts,” he said, bouncing up to his feet again. “I’m in love with you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be with you. I’ve never felt . . . No, that sounds trite.” He cleared his throat and tented his fingers on the desk. “When you’re not with me, I feel like a piece of me is missing. Like there’s a life I should be living somewhere and I’m in the wrong place. I’ve always been so certain about everything and now . . . everything with you is new and terrifying and completely comforting. Life with you is where I was meant to be all along and finally, I’ve found you.” He took a breath, clearly preparing to go on. I wasn’t used to so many words from Andrew’s mouth all at once. “You get me and seem to like me anyway. Being together and working together will be a challenge, but if that’s what you want, we’ll make it work. If you want to get another job, one where I’m not your boss, we’ll make that happen too. I want to do whatever it takes to be with you.”
He finished and pushed his hands into his pockets.
The warmth of familiarity circled me like a blanket, and a creeping realization from my soul told me that from this moment forward, Andrew and I would be linked forever.
I got that this was the part where I was meant to speak. I just didn’t know what to say. “I get it.” I forced out past a throat so dry, I felt like I’d just trekked across the Sahara. “Same.”
He started to laugh. “That’s unusually concise for you.”
“Give me a break.” I rolled my eyes. “You’ve been thinking about this.”
He circled the desk and leaned next to me, our legs barely touching. “You haven’t?”
“I’ve been focusing on the things I can control and trying to push away all my feelings for you. You were so adamant that we were done.”
He rubbed his hands over his face then shook his head. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“This is a lot and it’s taken me by surprise. It’s not a bad surprise,” I added quickly, seeing his face start to fall, “but I’m a little scared. You seemed to walk away so easily last time.”
“It wasn’t easy to end things, and it was even harder to stay away.” He cupped my face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I know it must be triggering for you because of what happened between your mother and father. But I promise, I will never walk away again. We can fly to Vegas right now and get married if it will help drive the point home. I’m not going anywhere.”
“My mom will kill me. She’ll want us to get married in a church.”
“Is that a yes? You’ll marry me?”
Had I just accepted a marriage proposal? “It’s a no to Vegas. You haven’t asked me anything beyond that and until you do, I’m not saying anything at all. Are you even Catholic?” I couldn’t believe we were talking so matter-of-factly about getting married, but it felt entirely appropriate.