Love on the Lake (Lakeside 2)

“I didn’t realize you didn’t like the job,” Van says quietly.

“I don’t not like it. It’s just not something I find particularly rewarding. I’m decent at it, and Dad loved having me close, so that seemed like it was enough. But now I’m beginning to feel like I’ve spent most of my life making sure he has someone to support him emotionally, and the decisions I’ve made weren’t about me; they were about making him happy. Which, based on the amount of retail therapy he engaged in over the years, was a complete freaking failure.”

Van gives me a stern look. “You aren’t responsible for Dad’s happiness.”

“I know that. And I think that’s part of the problem. Logically I’m aware that’s true. But I dated Troy because Dad thought he was a good match for me. Not because I was actually in love with Troy. Which is terrible and probably explains why that relationship failed.”

“I don’t think there are any valid explanations for why Troy did what he did, other than him being an asshole and Portia being a horrible friend.”

I don’t bother commenting, because the why is irrelevant. “The point is, everything I’ve been doing I’ve done to make sure Dad is all right. I don’t even know who I am. Or what I like. I have no idea how to take care of myself. I had to learn how to do my own laundry when we moved into the new house, and I shrunk half of my sweaters and turned all of Dad’s white shirts a very pale lavender because I accidentally threw a purple bra in with his whites. I didn’t even know you were supposed to separate things by color!” I throw my hands in the air and let them fall to my lap. “And that Aaron guy who doesn’t even know me doesn’t like me!” I don’t know why I’m so stuck on that last part, especially since it has literally nothing to do with my current existential crisis.

Van takes me by the shoulders. “Aaron doesn’t not like you. He was probably having a bad day. Maybe one of the wives or daughters from across the lake were hounding him to come mow their lawn or something. That always puts him in a mood.”

“Mow their lawn? Is that a euphemism?”

“Yes and no. And I’m not entirely sure what to believe. There’s a lot of small-town gossip, and I’m unsure what’s true and what isn’t. Anyway, Aaron aside, not knowing you need to separate your colors is not a crime. I had no idea until I moved out on my own too. What’s important is that you’re a great person, and you have amazing qualities, one of which is putting other people and their needs ahead of your own.”

“Maybe that’s something I need to stop doing,” I say.

“I would have to agree. I think you need to take some time to focus on yourself and what you want to do with your life. It sucks that Dad didn’t tell you about Danielle, but unless it’s written in his planner, he tends to forget those important details.”

“I need to get my own apartment. And maybe quit my job.”

Van’s eyebrow lifts. “Are you sure you want to quit Smith Financial?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I was considering going back to school or something, but I have no idea what I want to do. I never got to have any of the normal jobs most teenagers have. I never waited tables or worked at a greasy fast-food place. I’ve only ever worked with Dad, and it feels like it’s sucking the life out of me.” And now that I say it, I can see that it’s true. I get up, do my job, run through the motions, but I have no desire to climb the Smith Financial ladder. “I need to figure out what I like and what I’m good at.”

Van’s brief silence is filled with the chirping of irritated birds in the trees above us. “Why don’t you stay here? See if you can find a local job?”

“Here? In Pearl Lake?”

“You can have the apartment above the garage. It’s basically finished.”

“I don’t want to do that to you and Dillion. You’re in your own honeymoon phase. Like you need your little sister crashing your party all the time.” But it definitely has allure. And there wouldn’t be a ton of pressure when it came to earning a salary, not like there would be in the city.

“You wouldn’t be crashing our party, Teag. Dillion adores you, and so do I. We both love having you around. Besides, we’ll all have our own privacy with you in the apartment and Dillion and I in the house.”

“Don’t you think you should ask her first, before you go offering me a place to live?”