Jamie has his mother’s eyes and hair, but I can see so many similarities to me in him too. We have the same smile, same nose. I step out of the truck, round the hood, and crouch down as he comes barreling toward me, nearly tripping over his own feet.
“Yay! You’re here!” He throws his arms around me, and I wrap him in a hug, dropping my head and breathing him in. The more time that passes, the less he looks like his mom, and the harder it gets.
“I missed you, kiddo. How you doing?” I set him back down on the ground. “You’re getting so big! I think you must have grown a whole foot since I was here last month.”
“I lost a toof!” He pokes his tongue in the space where one of his front teeth should be.
I look up at Lydia and arch a brow. “Seems kind of early for that.”
“He lost it playing hockey with the kid down the street. About a year earlier than it was supposed to, so he’s going to have toothless school pictures for a while.” She ruffles his hair and accepts a hug from me.
“You doing okay? You need me to take him to an orthodontist or anything? If it’s not covered by your plan, I can take care of it.”
“It’s fine. I took him to the dentist, and she said it’s not a big deal, he’s just going to be minus a tooth for longer than usual.”
“Okay. But honestly, Lydia, if you need anything, you need to tell me.”
“You already do more than enough.” She threads her arm through mine and rests her cheek on my biceps, giving it a squeeze. “We missed you.”
“I missed you guys too.” I drop a quick kiss on the crown of her head and let her guide me into the house.
“Grampy’s coming for dinner, and we’re having burgers and corn and tater salad. I got a new LEGO set! Will you help me build it?” Jamie grabs my hand and pulls me away from his mother, guiding me toward the living room, where a box sits on the table.
“Of course I’ll help.” I have a present for him in the truck, and I’ll have to go back and get it for him once we’re done with this project.
“He’s been so excited. He’s had it for a week and refused to open it until you got here.”
“That’s a whole lot of patience.”
“I wanted to make it with you, and Mommy doesn’t understand the struct-tons like you.”
Lydia leans against the doorjamb, watching for a moment as Jamie tears into the box, freeing the instruction manual and the bags of pieces. “Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Root beer?”
“I want a root beer!” Jamie’s eyes light up.
“What’s the magic word?” I ask him.
“Please can I have a root beer, Mommy.”
“Two root beers, coming right up.” Lydia tosses a wink my way and heads to the kitchen, leaving me and Jamie with our LEGO project.
I don’t get back to Pearl Lake until Sunday night. Spending time with Jamie is fun but also mentally and emotionally exhausting. I wish I lived closer so I could see him more often than I do, but Lydia’s family lives in Chesterton, so she won’t move this way.
I brush off Teagan for the next couple of days, not because I don’t want to see her but because I do. I want to forget where I’ve been all weekend and lose myself in her.
So instead of being forthcoming about where I’ve been and who I’ve been with, I tell her I’m tired and need to work late on some projects across the lake. I also don’t respond to a lot of her texts, or I give one-word answers. I know I can’t keep this from her forever, but I don’t want this to change what we have. I feel like we’re in a good place, and this could mess things up.
On Wednesday, when the guys invite me out to play pool, I drive by the pub and notice Dillion’s truck and Allie’s car and bail.
But by Thursday night I feel like I’m in withdrawal. I wonder if this is what drug dependency is like. And I also feel like shit because I haven’t heard from Teagan since Tuesday. I’m guessing I hurt her feelings by avoiding her. Which is reasonable. I told her I wanted to date her, then went away for the weekend and snubbed her. I’m mixed-message central over here.
So after work on Thursday, I head home, shower, shave, change into fresh jeans and a T-shirt, and head over to the pub, where she’s working. I know I’m in trouble by the way my heart beats double time as soon as I lay eyes on her. And I feel even worse for keeping things from her, like the reason I was gone all weekend.