The Life: Sacrifice (The Life 3)

So, each time I get that feeling in my gut that I know pertains to him, I start looking for answers. It’s easy to forget who he is when he looks at me with such longing in his eyes. I sometimes pinch myself or hug the dog too tight when I remember something amazing he’d done for me.

But here in the last few days, I’ve been feeling that distance though I can’t quite put my finger on why because he hasn’t changed towards me, other than the fact that we haven’t made love in a bit. You’d think as teenagers who’d taken the lid off that particular jar; we’d be at it all the time.

It had been like that in the beginning, I think, but it’s only been a few weeks; surely, the honeymoon phase shouldn’t be over. But then I think about all he’d had to do for me in that time, how much he’d achieved on my behalf, and I wonder if maybe he’s just had enough and had lost interest because of the burdens I’d brought into his life.

It’s hard to know because neither he nor his family has made me feel like a nuisance neither by word nor deed. In fact, the more I notice the distance forming between Gabe and I, the more I realize how much the rest of his family had accepted me. So why do I feel like I’m about to lose it all? What is this feeling of pending doom that seems to hang over me just here lately?

I fought back those dreary thoughts feeling ungrateful for not enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime experience that I wouldn’t have had without Gabriel either. I owe him so much; he’ll never know. So, what gives me the right to want more? He’s already gone above and beyond and done more than I ever expected from anyone.

So, for now, no matter how my gut gnawed at me, I’m going to put it away and enjoy myself the way everyone else around me is. It wasn’t so hard to do. The place, my family’s estate, which I still can’t wrap my head around, this city, the upcoming ball, all of it, is more than enough to keep my mind from straying.

I looked around the room at the others, my eyes landing on Gabriel just as he stood to leave the room. He came over to tell me he was making his escape when we heard his mother and the other ladies coming, which made me smile at his comical look of horror. He’s been a star this whole day, making my first day here in this magical place even more spectacular than it would’ve been without him.

* * *

SOPHIA

* * *

Yes, yes, yes, this is perfect and all that I’d been wishing for. It didn’t bother me that my son had left the room as soon as I walked in. All that I cared about was the fact that he seemed relaxed and at ease. The fear in the pit of my stomach that had appeared ever since I realized that Gabe would be this close to Sicily could be put to rest now.

Over the years, I never questioned why my family had traveled the entire globe without stepping foot in Europe. I’d at first thought it was Draco’s way of protecting me, knowing that Alonzo Ricci had the run of the European Union had made even the thought of coming here break me out in a panic.

I thought that my husband had been reading my mind all these years and avoided Europe for my sake. But funnily enough, in the last week or so, my mind has been filled with thoughts of Gabe and his proximity to the man who’d fathered him. It’s not that he’s said or done anything to alert me, just a feeling.

In the last month or so, I’ve not given much thought to Gabe and his thoughts about Ricci, not for a while anyway. He’d been so in love, so caught up in his new relationship that I didn’t think he’d have time for anything else. So I have no idea why hearing that we’d be coming here should put me in such a state of panic.

The truth is that Gabe has never mentioned the things I’d told him back then to me, so I’ve never been sure if he even remembered or gave it much thought. I know well what my purpose was in telling him, what I essentially wanted to get out of sharing such a thing with my only son.

But as time went on, I somehow convinced myself that my sweet boy wouldn’t give too much thought to it, that he’d probably decided to move on since our lives were so much better. I, too, had moved on from those days and rarely gave them a thought. Until Gabe turned eighteen, was it only a few weeks ago that I brought it up to my husband? It seems so long ago.