It’s not hard to come to the realization of what type of man Alonzo Ricci is. I’ve studied him long enough to know how to attack him, break him down, before going in for the kill. Before, I was satisfied with the idea of just taking him out, but now, I won’t rest easy until I destroy him first.
As to Pop, I know I couldn’t pull the wool over his eyes with just that little game I’d just played, so I’m, as usual, I’m going to have to keep him off my scent. Gianna stirred next to me and rolled over until she was pressed against my side, kind of like the first time she slept in my bed.
I looked down at her and felt sadness reach out to grab ahold of me. I’ve always, for some reason since the first time I laid eyes on her, associated her with Ma. Something about her soft beauty and innate warmth always reminded me of the woman who gave me life.
Not in an Oedipus sort of way, of course, but something inside of her just pulls me in. The thought of something so horrific happening to her filled me with dread that I had to close my eyes to calm myself. Even though I knew it was futile, something inside me stumbled at the thought of leaving her, but as usual, that was soon followed by thoughts of Ma and what I owed her for not terminating my existence. Now more than ever, I salute her for bringing me into the world.
I left the bed that night and, for the next few days, used the excuse of helping Pop with getting grandpa situated as an excuse to put some much-needed space between Gianna and me. I know now that keeping her with me is entirely out of the question, and the sooner I get her to her grandmother’s house, the better.
With Felix going to prison, her maiden family is her next closest relatives, and though she’s of age in our state, I don’t see them leaving her there on her own. As to the house, it can be left in the hands of a caretaker unless they choose to sell it. I’d thought of it all, of course, while I was putting my plan together and if she knew that, she’d find me calculating, as she should.
By the time we landed back in the states, the air was filled with festive excitement. Between the ball and having grandpa with us, everyone was still on a high. I tried my best to shield her for as long as possible, but it wasn’t long before word got back to her, somehow, through the twins and their friends. The rumor mill was already working, news of Becky and Victoria’s treatment of Gianna, the fact that Becky might have killed Felix’s first wife, and that she’d burned all her earthly possessions to the ground, which led a distraught Felix to flip and strangle her to death.
It’s part of my campaign to get him off with a lighter sentence since public opinion tends to trump true justice these days. I did that for her. I could’ve gone about things in a way that he may have walked away free, especially after learning about his CPTSD diagnosis, but I still wanted him to pay some kind of price for what he’d done to her. Hypocrite! As if what I’m about to do is any different.
* * *
VICTORIA
* * *
I think I’ve died. Have I died? If so, where am I? I tried to lift my head, but nothing happened. There was a strange lethargy that weighed my body down, and I felt adrift, the way you do when you’re on a float in the ocean. I couldn’t hold my thoughts very well, couldn’t seem to remember anything, but I recognized the walls from what little I could see.
I’d seen this sight for so many hours now that it was ingrained in my brain. How long has it been now? I have no idea. It’s all I can do not to freak out and lose my mind for real from the minutiae. All I seem to do is drift in and out of consciousness, not knowing where one reality ended and another one began.
My head was still fuzzy from the drugs they’d been feeding me, and I’d lost time. Days or weeks could’ve gone by, and I wouldn’t know since I seem to sleep for hours in this place. Sometimes I’d wake up out of an almost comalike sleep having no recollection of anything. Sometimes I’m too loopy to care.
Today though is the worst. I turned my head to the side where the people usually are. I think they may be doctors from their white lab coats and the fact that they’re always peering at me like an insect under a scope. As the drugs started to wear off, I realized that my mouth was unusually parched with a soreness that I can’t describe.