The War of Two Queens (Blood and Ash 4)

“They took my blood,” I told her, gaze following hers to our joined hands. “Daily for a while. They put it in these vials. I assumed it was being used for the Revenants, but they stopped doing it a couple of days before you arrived.”

“Isbeth might’ve been using it for the Revenants, but I think she could’ve been using it for the Royal Blessing.” She, too, stared at our hands, and a long moment passed. “Did she…did they treat you like they had before?”

My chest burned as I lifted my gaze to her face. “No one touched me this time. Not like that.”

A shuddering breath left her. “I’m relieved to hear that, but it doesn’t make any of what was done better. Not when she kept you in that place. You had bite marks on your leg. You’d been starved—” Cutting herself off, she inhaled deeply. When her eyes lifted, I saw that the silver wisps of eather had become luminous. “I know you’re going to tell me that you’re okay. That you’re fine. And I know you’re strong. You’re the strongest person I know, but they hurt you.”

She bent, kissing the knuckle below the ring. The feeling of her lips beat back the threatening chill. “You once told me that I didn’t always have to be strong when I was with you. That it was safe for me not to be okay,” she said, and the muscles in my neck cramped. “You told me that it was your duty as my husband to make sure I knew that I didn’t have to pretend. Well, it’s my duty as your wife to make sure you know that, too. You’re my shelter, Cas. My roof and my walls—my foundation. And I am yours.”

A jagged knot filled my throat as I found myself staring at the painting of the mist-shrouded mountains. The inclination to tell her that I was fine was there. It’s what I’d done the last time when my parents or anyone asked. Even Kieran. Even when lying to him was pointless. I didn’t want any of them to worry. They’d already spent enough time doing that. And I didn’t want to put that on Poppy. She already carried enough.

But I didn’t have to pretend with her.

Not anymore.

I was safe with her.

“There was a time that I feared I would never hear you say my name outside of a dream.” The words were hard and rough, but I forced them out. “It wasn’t that I feared you wouldn’t come for me. I knew you would. That knowledge also scared the hell out of me, but it was the darkness of the cell. The hunger. The knowledge that, eventually, it would get me, and I would break. Fracture again. I wouldn’t even recognize my name to know that it was you who spoke it. So, yeah, I’m not…” I swallowed. “I’m not completely fine, but I will be.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “You will be.”

Neither of us said anything for several long moments. Finally, I looked at her, and all I saw was devotion in her eyes.

To be on the receiving end of that? It made my fucking heart skip.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop saying that. You do.”

“I truly don’t.” I lifted our hands, pressing a kiss to the top. “But I’ll make sure that I am worthy from now on.”

“Then I’ll make sure that you realize you already are.”

A faint grin pulled at my lips. “I should probably get out of this tub. Kieran has to be back by now.” And there were things I needed to tell her. Things I needed to remember.

“He is.” Slipping her hand free, she reached for a towel that had been placed nearby. “He told me through the notam. Just a couple of minutes ago. I think they’re giving us space.”

“I have to admit,”—gripping the sides of the tub, I rose. Water ran off me, falling in drips—“I’m kind of jealous of that notam thing.”

“Yeah, well, I have that, but you all have the fangs, the special hearing, seeing, and smelling.” She rose, too, and my attention immediately got caught on the hem of that shirt and how it fluttered around those thighs, barely covering the thick curve of her ass. “So, I think it’s only fair that I have this.”

I dragged my gaze upward. “I bet you’re still disappointed about not being able to shift into anything.”

“I really am.” She drew the towel over my arms and then down my chest.

“I can dry myself.”

“I know,” she said as she motioned for me to step out of the tub. “But I am feeling rather helpful right now.”

“Uh-huh,” I murmured, watching her drag the cloth along my hip and over my lower stomach, where the muscles stood out far more starkly than they should have.

I needed more of that stew and a lot of protein. Her blood would help fill me out, but some of the weight I would have to pack on the old-fashioned way.