The War of Two Queens (Blood and Ash 4)

“That’s good. I want her to be sure.”

His gaze flicked to me. “Go talk to your brother. She’ll be fine with me.”

“I know.” Giving his shoulder one last squeeze, I rose and left. When I looked back, Kieran had taken my place beside her, watchful and alert, and that warmed my chest.

I made my way across the small clearing. Malik showed no awareness of my approach, but he was aware. All those ugly emotions crowded my chest as I knelt in front of him. I said nothing. Neither did he for several moments. When he did speak, I fucking wished he hadn’t.

“You hate me.”

Jaw clenching, I twisted my neck from side to side. Did I? Yes. No.

“Wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He stretched out a leg. “I know you looked for me this whole time. I heard what the Descenters called you. The Dark One—”

“Except you were the only Dark One that ever mattered.”

His shoulders tensed as he continued. “I didn’t want you to look for me. I wanted you to give up on it. Prayed that you did. And I kept thinking you would hear about me—about a man called Elian, who was often seen at Wayfair. That you would know, would assume, that I’d betrayed you and would give up. You didn’t. Should’ve known better. You were always a stubborn brat—”

“I don’t give a fuck about any of that. You don’t even want to know what I would do for Poppy, so I get it. You did it for your heartmate.” The moment the words were spoken, I breathed how godsdamn true they were. “It’s what I did to Poppy to free you. I lied to her. Betrayed her. And, yeah, that’s on me. Something I’ve got to work out. But it’s also what you did to her that I cannot fathom, no matter what you believed she would do as an adult. She was a child. And you—who abhorred violence of any kind—never would’ve even considered harming a child.”

Malik said nothing.

That ugly fist of emotion clenched tighter. “It doesn’t matter that you weren’t able to follow through on it. She got hurt because of you, Malik. Bad.”

“I know,” he said in a ragged way as if it hurt him to admit it. I wanted to hurt him for even acknowledging it.

“Do you? Do you know the scars that none can see? How they run so damn deep in her? Your actions tormented her for years.” I lowered myself onto one knee, planting a hand in the cool grass to stop myself from planting it in his face. “You left her there to die.”

Malik’s head lifted then. Identical eyes met mine. “I didn’t. She tried to tell you that back in Stonehill. How do you think she survived that night? Primal god or not, she hadn’t entered her Culling yet.” He leaned forward as far as the chain would allow. “You know that means she would’ve died if left there. None of the others who survived the night would’ve been able to get her out of there. I did. I took her back to Carsodonia, and that fucking—” A tremor coursed through him, and his laugh was low. Harsh. “I didn’t leave her there.”

I stared at him. Poppy had said that he’d gotten her out of Lockswood. He’d spoken the truth. But did it matter? “Is that supposed to redeem you somehow?”

“Fuck, no. Because you’re right. I was the cause of those scars—hidden or not.” Malik slumped against the tree. “I saw Penellaphe. Not often. Isbeth kept her away from most, but I saw her before they placed her in that veil. I saw what my actions had done. And trust me when I say it should bring you a little peace to not have seen the aftermath when it was so new.”

I rose swiftly and took a step toward him, stopping short when I saw Kieran do the same across the clearing. I turned away from my brother, dragging in the cool night air until it dampened some of the rage.

“Did Alastir ever tell anyone that he saw me?”

I turned to him.

“Because he did.”

Holy fuck. “No.”

Malik’s eyes closed. “He saw and recognized me. I don’t know if I should feel relieved or not that he kept that to himself.”

But had he? Or was that something else our parents had lied about? Was that why they’d believed Malik gone to them? To Atlantia? Why they’d pushed so hard for me to take the throne?

“That night, when I looked into Penellaphe’s eyes and saw the Consort, I believed Cora then. You know, that she was right,” he said after a moment. “That Penellaphe would end the Blood Crown. But over the years, I realized that it didn’t matter who Penellaphe was in her heart. All that mattered was whether Isbeth found a way to exploit her power.” His eyes opened. “And you know she will. You saw it at Stonehill. In Oak Ambler. Isbeth stokes her anger, and Poppy responds with rage.”