Fuck It (Yama Yama)

Memories of every time I tortured a teacher in school are coming back to me, and I really hope karma doesn’t bite me in the ass. Especially for the time I put a tampon in my history teacher’s coffee cup. It wasn’t used. I’m not disgusting.

I have the kids go around the room and say their names. I’m surprised how well behaved they are, and how smoothly things are going. Before I know it, their second grade teacher is there to escort them back to class.

“Hi.” The teacher greets me after ordering the kids to line up at the door. “I’m Ava Green. Are you a sub?”

Ava looks about my age, with dark hair pulled into a messy bun, and a thin body.

Visions of being tied to a cross and whipped jump into my mind. I really need to stop reading those books. “Lydia Childers. I’m not a sub.”

“Oh! I’m glad they finally hired someone. I’m in room four if you need anything. It can be tough in the beginning.”

“Does the look of fear on my face scream first year teacher?” I laugh.

“A little, but you’ll be fine. The kids are great. It’s some of the staff that’ll drive you crazy.”

“Like Mr. Bro over there?” I ask, gesturing to the door where Coach Johnson stands, surreptitiously flexing.

Ava snorts. “He’s a sexist douche, but don’t let him get to you. Did you just move to town?”

“Yesterday.”

“Wow. Well, we should get together this weekend for drinks. I’ll fill you in on all the school gossip.”

Smiling, I nod at her. “That’d be great.”

“Fantastic. I’d better get the students back to our room. It was nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” Maybe this won’t be such a bad place to work after all.

Coach Johnson approaches as soon as Ava walks away, and his gaze jumps back and forth between us. “Oh, now I see. You’re one of them.”

“Them?” I sigh, heading toward an office attached to the corner of the gym that I assume is mine.

“You know, a dick dodger.”

Glaring at him, I lean against the desk. “Are you trying to ask me if I’m a lesbian?”

“Makes sense. Gym teacher and all.” He leans on the doorjamb.

My next class doesn’t start for thirty minutes, so I push past him into the hall. “My sex life is none of your business. Is there a reason you’re here?”

He follows me while I search for the teacher’s lounge. “Relax, babe. Principal Franklin told me to keep an eye on you for your first day. Check in on you.”

“Well, you’ve done your job. I can manage just fine.”

“Lesbians,” he grumbles, heading off down the hall. “Oh, in case you weren’t told, you’re also responsible for the afterschool program. It starts at 2:30.”

What the f—frog?

After I grab a muffin and a cup of coffee from the machine in the teacher’s lounge, I stop by the principal’s office. It turns out Mr. Bro was right. I also have to keep an eye on the afterschool kids from two-thirty to four. There’s a rotation where the teachers trade off on the responsibility.

The rest of the school day passes quickly, and it isn’t too bad, though I did overhear two ninth grade boys discussing my ass. Ugh.

Ava stays to do afterschool duty with me. “I’ll help with homework if you want to entertain the rest of them,” she volunteers.

“Thank you,” I sigh. She takes over at the long table set up against the wall, and it doesn’t take long for me to get the kids interested in a game of kickball. Parents filter in throughout the hour and a half to retrieve their kids. There are only a few left when I look up into familiar emerald eyes.

“Lydia?”

The sound of my name echoes from far away, and the hard gym floor rushes up to meet me. I can hear a bustle of activity surrounding me, and I shake my head, trying to claw through the cobwebs that have suddenly engulfed my thoughts. I thought I heard Simon Carr, but that can’t be right. I haven’t seen him in over a year, since Anderson’s catastrophic almost-wedding.

Finally, my mind clears and my eyes focus. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Childers!” a child cries.

“Lydia, are you okay?” Ava asks, and I look up into her concerned eyes.

“What happened?”

A quick grin flashes across her face. “Toby nailed you in the back of the head with a dodgeball.”

Getting to my feet, I turn and almost hit the floor again in shock. I did hear Simon’s voice. He stands right in front of me, holding the hand of a little blond boy. Toby, that’s his name.

Toby looks like he’s about to burst into tears, and I have no idea what to say to Simon. Moments like this are more Kasha’s specialty. I could totally see her getting knocked unconscious in front of the guy she’s crushed on for years.