Fuck It (Yama Yama)

He introduces himself as Tony and progresses into a spiel about taking a new direction in life, starting with your health. He explains that’s how New Directions got its name. Ever since Henley pointed it out, all I can hear is nude erections.

From the smirks on the girls’ faces, they’re thinking the same as Tony goes on. “That’s what we’re trying to accomplish here. A New Direction is what’s in store for all of you,” he announces with a smile.

“Don’t remember signing up for that,” Henley murmurs, and Kasha snickers. Monica shoots them a warning look while Lydia grins over at me.

He runs us through a couple of poses while droning on. “So much of the self-doubt we suffer comes from our own choices, from all those wrong turns we’ve taken. You don’t want to end up on the wrong path. Take it from someone who knows from personal experience that taking a bad direction can lead to unnecessary pain.”

“Especially if they get the wrong hole,” Lydia whispers.

“Bad! Bad Erection!” Kasha hisses, shaking her finger like she’s scolding a dog.

Monica tries to keep her disapproving expression intact but it isn’t working. She’s almost cracking a smile. Guess she figured out the joke. These women are so hilarious. I want to join in.

Tony continues, “Now I caution you, it won’t be easy. Taking a new direction is hard. It takes, courage, willpower, and—"

“Lube,” I whisper.

Except it doesn’t come out as a whisper since I laugh like an idiot at the same time. Two women and a man in the next row glance back at me. The guy shakes with laughter. Whoops.

My face is already turning red when a smile leaps across Tony’s face, and he walks back toward us. “I’m sorry. I missed that. Did you have a question?”

Oh no.

“Uh, no, sorry…just…excited to be here.”

Go away. Don’t make me the center of attention.

Kasha sees the panic on my face as he approaches us and tries to save me. The lovely woman. “She’s just shy. But Sicily is all about new directions. Can’t get enough of them.”

Strike that. Evil woman.

“My friend Lydia here, in particular, has had trouble lately with a new direction. There was a lot of damage,” Kasha adds, gesturing to Lydia who looks like she’s thinking of good ways to dispose of her body.

Tony presses his palms together and looks down at Lydia with sympathy. “Taking chances can leave us vulnerable and bruised, but it also helps us heal.”

“There was definitely bruising,” Lydia mumbles.

Tony smiles at Kasha. “What’s your name?”

Monica breathes out what sounds like “oh no,” before Kasha replies.

“Kasha. I have to confess, Tony, I’ve never considered new directions until recently. My curiosity got the best of me. Now I can’t wait to hop on board and give one my best try.”

“Well said, young lady.” He addresses the group. “I implore you all to learn from her positive attitude and let new directions guide you to happiness!”

Kasha isn’t done. One thing you can say for her, she goes all in. She starts clapping and chanting. “New Directions! New Directions!”

The entire group follows along.

She leans over and exclaims in a gleeful voice, “Thirty people cheering for nude erections. It’s my finest moment ever!”

After that little detour, the yoga class resumes without any further interruptions, but every time I look over at Kasha, I have to fight the urge to laugh.

I can’t remember when I’ve had this much fun. I need to talk to Lydia about Anderson because I really don’t want to lose her friendship. I want to be a part of their group.

Luck has it that when we all go to our final activity of the day, only Lydia and I choose the hot tub while the others opt for a messier choice of a mud bath.

I’m not a fan of getting mud in areas I can’t see.

Besides, they serve wine. A couple of glasses while soaking in the jets doesn’t sound bad right now.

After we’ve both started on our second glass, I take the opportunity to continue our earlier conversation. “You said there were other reasons you don’t like me being with Anderson. Will you tell me what they are?”

Lydia sighs and tosses back the rest of the wine in her glass. “He’s not trustworthy. That’s the main thing.”

“I understand he hurt you.”

“It isn’t about me.” She accepts a third drink and sips it. “Look, I’m not trying to badmouth Anderson, honestly. But I’m well acquainted with how he operates. Kasha thinks he’s changed, but that’s her stepbrother, you know? She loves him.”

“You don’t think he’s changed?”

The only sound is the churning water for a long minute before she lays her head back with her eyes closed. “Maybe he wants to, or maybe he has…for now. I’ve seen what it’s like when someone tries to be something they’re not. I thought I could keep my feelings out of sex, have fun with Simon. Now…fuck, I think I’m falling in love with him.” Her eyes pop open, and she shakes her head to clear it, like she didn’t mean to say so much. She looks over at me. “I’m not saying people can’t change. Just that most of the time, they don’t.”