The Psycho (The Soldiers of Anarchy 1)

Chapter Eighteen

Adam

Later that night, I was at the club, trying to show a bit of fucking effort and pull my weight. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be wherever Olivia was. But I couldn’t leave the others to do everything, not all the time. I’d slacked off enough lately, and that thought was starting to piss me off.

I stayed on the ground floor, making my presence known but checking her CCTV on my phone in case I was needed. Devon was circling around too, and the other three were keeping things ticking over on the first floor. Their domain.

A little later, Colton came down to join me, and we headed out the back for a bit of fresh air and a break from the pumping bass that seemed to resonate through your whole body like an electric shock. It felt good to get away. Sometimes I wondered why I’d agreed to this club business, when in reality, I hated other people, socialising, and all the other shit that went with it.

“I feel that as your best friend, I need to tell you something, man to man,” Colton said as we stood in the darkness.

“I’m not sure I want to hear this, and who said you’re my best friend?” I answered, sticking my hands in my pockets and savouring the cool night air.

“Okay, so you might like Devon a little more, but let’s face it, I’m the one that entertains you the most.” I glanced to the side where he stood and just gave him a raised eyebrow. No words were needed. “Whatever. Someone needs to help you out because you’re doing a really shitty job on your own.”

I turned to face him now, intrigued with where he was going with this. He certainly had balls to call me out on a supposedly shitty job.

“Go on. Spit it out,” I snapped. If he dared to question my status in the group, I was ready to show him exactly why I was still number one.

“This whole stalker thing you’ve got going on, it’s not working, mate. You need to face facts. If you want this girl, you’ve gotta try a different way. Trust me. Most girls, they don’t actually like that sort of psycho shit. They prefer flowers and sweet talk. You know, maybe even getting asked out on a date. So far, Liv’s had about as much say in your relationship as our kills have in their final breath. I think you need to ditch the whole game of consequences thing with her and tread a little softer. Save the scary shit for when you’re working with us.”

I frowned. I didn’t like being questioned about anything, but right now, I was starting to feel like a lost cause.

“What do you mean, tread a little softer?” I hadn’t ever expected to get advice about women from Colton, but I did feel like I was banging my head against a brick wall lately. Nothing I did seemed to get through to her. She was mine. But she didn’t want to be.

“I mean woo her. You know what you should do?” Colton said, pointing his cigarette at me as we stood in the darkness in the grounds at the back of the asylum.

“Not a clue.”

“You should invite her here.”

I shook my head in exasperation, thinking his suggestion was the worst thing I’d ever heard. She’d never come here, not when it was me inviting her. Or would she? She had said she wanted me to come out of the shadows. Fuck it. What did I know?

“This is the last place I’d want to invite her. And have every guy in there all over her? Not gonna happen,” I stated, even though my mind was still mulling over the possibility.

“I don’t mean in there,” Colton scoffed, thumbing behind him towards the ground floor. “I mean a special invite. Maybe one of the rooms…. Ooo, I know, the dark room. She might not know it’s you. That might even sway her decision.”

He thought he was funny. He wasn’t.

“If I was to invite her, and if I did ask her to the dark room, I’d make damn sure she knew it was me.” And she knew me well enough to know it would be me too. I’d never let anyone else touch her.

“So, go for it. Ask her.” He wiggled his eyebrows, like it was that simple.

“I don’t know,” I answered, pissed off at my own indecisiveness. I always knew what to do. I didn’t like feeling like this.

“I think you do, and one thing I never took you for was a coward.”

That got my back up.

“I’m not a fucking coward, I’m just biding my time. I’ll get her where I want her. I just want to do it my way. This isn’t a game, Colton. She means a lot to me, and I want to make sure that when I go all in, she’s right there with me. I have to do this my way.”

He shrugged his shoulders and took another drag of his cigarette. “Your way? Watching her through a video screen and being fifty paces behind her at all times? It all seems a bit lame if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.”

“And it’s going at a snail’s pace. How long has it been since you first met her?”

“A few months, not that it’s any of your business.” I could hear the demons in my head rearing up again. I didn’t like being questioned and challenged.

“And in all that time you haven’t even kissed her. Or anyone else for that matter. Your balls must be so blue you could snap them off and use them as Christmas decorations. Probably get more use out of them too.”

“Not that I expect you to understand, but it isn’t all about sex for me. I want more than that.”

He laughed at me for saying that, but I didn’t care.

“Do you want to marry her?” he teased. “Have little Adam and Liv’s running around, growing up to be even more fucked up than we are?”

“If I had kids, I’d do a damn sight better job than our parents ever did,” I replied without giving a second thought to my response.

“Oh my fucking God! You’ve actually thought about it. Jesus. This is more serious than I first thought. You need help, my friend.” Colton shook his head as he whistled his disapproval.

“Not from you I don’t. But thanks all the same,” I stated, turning my back on him.

“Oh, man.” Colton sighed. “I think we need to get back out there and do some more soldier shit. I think you’re starting to grow a vagina, you’re more of a pussy than she is.”

He laughed but I snapped, slamming him up against the wall and getting right in his face.

“You think I’ve gone soft? That I can’t still rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass?”

“Not at all,” he squeaked as I gripped his neck tightly. “I love that you’ve still got it. Squeeze a bit tighter. Show me you really care.” He blew me a kiss and I snapped back to reality, letting go of his neck and shoving him away from me.

I’d had enough fresh air for one night, and now my chest felt even tighter than before. So I left him gasping and spluttering where he stood, laughing at my retreating form as I headed inside. I stalked across the dance floor, nudging people out of the way as I did, and headed straight for the stairs and the real sanctuary that was my room.

When I got there, I slammed the door shut, making a sleeping Tyson jump up from his bed and start barking at me.

“Don’t you fucking start,” I said, pointing my finger at him. “If you could talk, you’d be giving me grief about her too. Fucking traitor.”

He growled and whined a bit, then settled himself back down into his bed, turning his back on me and going back to sleep.

“I can’t invite her to the dark room,” I said to myself, trying to make some sense of the jumble of emotions in my head. “If I’m gonna tread lightly, maybe I could ask her to come to the club. Build up to the dark room.”

I didn’t stop to think or talk myself out of it. I grabbed my phone and sent her a message.

Me: You want me to come out of the dark? Then meet me halfway. Come to the club this Saturday.

I stared at my phone, willing a reply to come through, and when it didn’t, I threw it down onto the bed, feeling angry that I wasn’t getting what I wanted. I needed an answer now. I didn’t like being made to wait.

But then I backed-up, feeling like an ass for being the way I was. Maybe I did need to change, for her. I knew one thing for sure, I really needed to cool down, and I figured a shower might help. That, and maybe I could drown myself in my misery, but when I heard my phone vibrating, I flew across the room to get to it.

Olivia: Okay. You’re on. I’ll see you on Saturday.

My heart did a flip in my chest and nerves like I’d never felt before ran right the way through me.

She’d said yes.

She was going to come here.

For me.

Me: I’ll see you before then, but Saturday will be something else.

I replied, feeling the doubt and fury from earlier wash away faster than any shower.

Olivia: I’m counting on it.