“No you’re not. You’ve had enough for one night.” Joe snapped indignantly.
“Who are you my father? If I want another drink I’m having one.”
“Not here you won’t.”
“Gonna throw me out then are you?” I glared at him now, daring him to say yes so I could flounce off as best as my unsteady drunken feet could carry me.
“I’ll carry you over my shoulder and take you home right now Ella if you carry on speaking to me like that.”
Joe stepped forward into my space now and I knew he was beyond furious. Even in my drunken state I knew not to push him any further.
“Why don’t you just back off! I mean…yes you’re hot as fuck but Ella deserves better….you’ve done nothing but fuck up her life since she met you and you can’t even give her a break after everything, the girls still recovering from the miscarriage and you’re on at her even now. Asshole.”
Shit, shit, shit.
Had Chris really just said that out loud? I took a deep nervous breath in and looked at Joe, his eyes were wide and his mouth was open in pure shock.
“You were pregnant?…Ella?... You were pregnant and you didn’t think to tell me?... He knew but I didn’t. What the hell Ella, why didn’t you tell me?”
Chris sank down to the grass clumsily and put his hands over his face muttering sorry to me but it didn’t matter now, the truth was out there. I stood as tall as my tipsy frame would allow and looked Joe in the eyes with as much confidence as I could muster.
“I tried to tell you. I came to tell you in my lunch hour but Anna beat me to it.” I said spitefully, knowing it would hit him hard but I didn’t care.
“Oh my God Ella, that day you were pregnant and you stood there listening to all that. Why didn’t you tell me, sweet heart I would have done everything in my power to look after you. Bloody Anna, she did this, I’ll kill her for this.”
“I thought one baby was enough for you to deal with that day. It’s not like you even want to have kids anyway.” Again another low blow from me but I couldn’t stop myself they just kept coming out of my mouth.
“You were having our baby Ella, there’s nothing I’d want more with you. Why wouldn’t you share that with me? Anna is a vindictive cow, always has been and I have no idea why she tried to pin her brat on me because I’ve never slept with her. Money no doubt. But you…” He sighed sadly, “Ella I would have been ecstatic…my God Ella I would have been the happiest man alive. Why did you feel you couldn’t tell me? I thought we were closer than that?” He looked visibly hurt.
“Obviously not. We’d never discussed having a baby and I needed time to get used to it myself. I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” I couldn’t look at him right now, I felt ashamed.
“I told you I wanted it all with you and that includes family, kids, everything.”
“It doesn’t matter now anyway, the baby’s gone. I’m not pregnant and we can both get on with our lives.”
“It’s that easy is it?” He shook his head and looked down at the ground. “For you maybe its easy Ella, you had all the control, but I need to know what happened. I need you to talk to me. I don’t want to just get on with my life, I can’t. My life has been on hold since you left me. I can’t cope with this silence any more Ella.”
“I can’t talk about it, I’m sorry.” I started crying now, emotions I’d worked hard to bury were resurfacing and drowning me.
“If I’d known I would have been there, looked after you. You were in hospital losing our baby and you wouldn’t let me be there, you made the decision and you took that away from me. That breaks my heart Ella.”
“Don’t worry Joe, Simon took good care of her.”
Bloody Chris had piped up again and I felt like kicking him. He was making things a million times worse. Joe’s face was suddenly murderous.
“Who the fuck is Simon? Have you moved onto someone else already?”
He was shaking with fury and I was scared. For the first time in my life Joe was scaring me.
“No, he’s an old school friend. No I didn’t sleep with him and no I’m not with him. I’m single and I intend to stay that way.”
Joe started breathing deeply in relief at my honesty and exasperation at my single status no doubt.
“He still asked you to marry him though didn’t he Ella?”
“What the fuck Chris, why don’t you just shut up, you aren’t helping here.” I screamed at him. I knew he was hopeless when he was drunk, but he was seriously throwing me under the bus right now.
“Two months away and another guy has proposed to you? What the fuck!”