Forever Mine (Joe & Ella 2)

He was sorry I could see that, but something in me snapped.

“Don’t you think I deserve better than a quick fuck up against a wall, in your car, your office, wherever you want so you can control me. I’m not your whore Joe. One minute you treat me like a cheap tart the next you’re parading me around like a bloody show pony in front of your exes.”

“Ella, that’s not fair and you know it. I’ve never treated you like a whore. Okay I fucked up tonight but I’d never want to make you feel like that. I didn’t think I ever had.”

“I’m done with this Joe. Don’t contact me, don’t email me or send me flowers. I’m over this. We are over.”

“No we aren’t. I said I’d give you space Ella. I meant it…don’t throw it all away because I acted like a jealous prick tonight. I’m sorry…truly I am. Please Ella, don’t I deserve a second chance?”

“You’ve had more chances than I can remember. I’m not standing here to argue about this anymore. I’m going home…alone. Goodbye Joe.”

I walked back down the alley and straight into a waiting taxi. Tears streaming down my cheeks as the cab flew down the street. The lights of the city became a blur behind my tears and my heart broke into a million painful pieces.

13

I lay in bed listening to the early morning traffic mixed with the last of the dawn chorus. The sunshine rising up and peeking through my curtains hinted at the newness of the day and the possibility of a fresh start. I hadn’t slept well last night, thoughts of the last year swirling around in my overloaded brain. Life wasn’t supposed to be this hard surely. Whenever I saw couples and families it all looked so simple for them. Meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and then married and finally live happily ever after. Why did I always do it wrong? My route always seemed to be; meet someone, give one hundred percent of myself, find out they are a lying cheating hoe bag and get my heart broken then repeat. Maybe I should start seeing someone like Simon, forgo the excitement and the butterflies for predictable and secure. At least I

wouldn’t spend my nights crying into my pillow.

I looked back on my previous relationships and decided that finding a relationship with a guy who you meet in a club or a bar would always be doomed to failure. Most guys who I met that way were only out for what they could get from you. Joe was no exception he’d said from the start he wanted sex and that was it. He probably let himself get carried away because I was a challenge to him, but he was no different from the rest of them out on the prowl on a weekend. After the instant gratification and not cut out to handle the long term. I was so over those type of guys. Maybe I needed to start going to libraries and museums, my forever guy could be there waiting for me. I felt a tear trickle down the side of my face from my eye and onto my pillow. I thought Joe was my forever guy, but a forever guy wouldn’t let some other guy watch like he had done last night. Joe had reached a new low, he didn’t respect me or want to keep me for himself. I was a trophy to him, a possession. He loved getting one over on Simon, and that was what last night had been about. A bloody pissing contest and all that mattered to him was winning, not me and my feelings.

I wiped my hand over my face and pulled myself together. ‘Enough moping around Ella’, I scolded myself.

An hour later I was showered, dressed in my favourite mint green halter neck sundress and skipping down the stairs. Max was sitting on our couch chatting to Robyn and sipping a cup of coffee. He looked at home in our living room his legs sprawled out and his arms resting on the back of the sofa. He glanced up at me as he heard my footsteps and smiled.

“Hey Max, you’re an early bird. You okay?”

“I thought I’d pop round and take you for a late breakfast.” He looked down at his watch, “Or an early lunch. Whatever.”

I laughed and sat down in the old armchair opposite.

“Bless you, that’s really sweet… Where’s Simon?” I asked cautiously.

Robyn winced, “He took off pretty quickly last night. He looked totally pissed off. Damn that was one awkward night Ella. Why the hell did you bail on us all so soon?”

“The usual.” I raised my eyebrows at her. “I’m starting over today though, a fresh new me. I will move on. Onwards and upwards.” I smiled.

“Glad to hear it. Can you try sticking to it a bit longer this time?” Robyn glared over at me accusingly.

“I will!” I replied feeling hurt. “Are you coming for breakfast/lunch/brunch whatever it is with us?” I tried to swerve the conversation back from my shitty lack of self-control to something more neutral.

“No I have work in an hour, you guys go and enjoy yourselves…Oh and before I forget Chris’s guy showed up eventually last night. They looked really loved up. I think it’s the real thing this time.”

“I hope so. What was he like?”

“Gorgeous and really attentive, you know… considerate of Chris’s feelings. Not what I was expecting at all but he totally got my approval. You’ll love him Ella.”

I agreed, any guy who put a smile on Chris’s face and cared for him got my seal of approval.

“Come on, I’m parked outside.” Max piped up, “I’ll take you to a little café I know. It’s nothing special to look at but it does the best bacon sandwiches in the city.”

“Cool, I need comfort food today and I love a good bacon butty. The diet can wait until tomorrow, one life change at a time hey.”

“What the hell is a butty?” Max laughed.

“It’s what we call a sandwich where I come from.” I was shocked he hadn’t heard that one living in the U.K as long as he had.

“That’s cute, I’ll have to remember that one…a bacon butty.” He shook his head and chuckled as we made our way outside.