Forever Mine (Joe & Ella 2)

My head felt like it was about to explode I was fuming right now.

“Jesus Christ woman, will you just stop for one minute and listen? I didn’t touch her, I was playing a stupid dangerous game and it fucking back fired big time, it all blew up in my face okay! I haven’t cheated on you ever. I haven’t been anywhere near another woman since I met you Ella, I haven’t wanted to.

“Apart from that red dressed hoe.” I spat out.

“Fuck! Are you going to hold that night over my head forever?”

“Probably.” I muttered childishly.

“Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you Ella.”

“Why did you come here then Joe?”

He sat back down and looked up at me with pleading eyes.

“When you came to the hospital that day to see me after the accident, was it as a concerned friend or do you still have feelings for me?”

No way, I wasn’t going to be the one to put myself out there.

“How about you answer my question first. Why are you here?”

He shook his head and looked down at the ground, his hands laced together between his knees.

“Okay, I got a call from Max today telling me you had a date with some guy who in Max’s words was… ‘hot’.” He looked up into my eyes now. “I didn’t like it.”

“So you came all the way over here to tell me of your disapproval. Okay noted. Thanks. Is that all?” I was acting like a spoilt brat but I didn’t care.

“No, fuck Ella that’s not all. I miss you, I miss us. I still reach out for you every morning to hold you in bed, but you aren’t there and I fucking hate it. I love you so god damn much it’s destroying me not being with you. I’m still yours if you’ll have me. I want you to be mine Ella. The thought of another guy taking you out, holding you, kissing you, it’s killing me.”

My heart was melting but I couldn’t give in so easily.

“You’ve been acting like an asshole lately, you’re the one who drove me away.”

“I gave you space, you said you wanted space. I was in a panic I didn’t know what to do. I kept fucking things up every time I saw you.”

“Sucking face with another girl in front of me will do that…” I was back into bitch mode again.

“Jesus, that right there is the biggest regret of my life. That and losing you.”

“I think you’ve got more to regret than that surely. What about the thousands of women you’ve fucked across the pond Joe. No regrets there then?”

“You’re right, my life has been one long fuck up and I can’t change that, but I can try my damn hardest to change what’s been happening between you and me. I’m here to fight for you Ella. To show you I love you, to tell you what you mean to me.”

“Fine… show me… tell me. Do whatever it is you came here to do. I’m all ears Joe.”

I crossed my arms over my chest again ready to defend my weakening heart.

“I don’t want to live through another day feeling like this. Since you left there’s been this pain in my chest and it never goes away. I can’t function without you Ella. All the money, the cars, the business, it’s nothing to me. You Ella, you’re everything. You give my life purpose, you make me want to be a better man for you, to love you and care for you. I want to share everything with you; my successes, my failures, my hopes and dreams and my fears, my future my life. I want to laugh with you when you’re happy and hold you when you’re down.”

He reached out to hold my hand and I let him.

“I don’t want to end up a lonely bitter old man like my Father because I was too selfish and stubborn to put myself out there and tell you how much you mean to me. You come first Ella, always. You’re my first thought when I wake and the image I see in my mind when I finally fall asleep at night. If you don’t want to be with me then I’ll have to find a way to accept it, but I needed to come here tonight because I can’t go o

n like this anymore.”

He stood opposite me, gently holding my hand and looking into my eyes. I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts before I spoke.

“Everything about my date tonight felt off, wrong. When he held my hand or put his arms around my waist I froze…”