I threw on my clothes and paced reluctantly towards the door.
“Wish me luck!” I called out as I opened the door and made my way down to the kitchen.
When I walked in to the kitchen the waft of fresh bread and pastries hit my nose. I inhaled deeply and felt a wave of warmth smother me.
“I would say my home made pastries are better than sex but I doubt that’d be the case for you this morning.” My Nan said turning round to face me with an accusatory stare. She was unbelievable. The shame flared up onto my cheeks.
“I’m sorry Nan, I fell asleep in the spare room by accident last night and then…” I shrugged and stared at the floor kicking my feet and feeling like a sixteen year old all over again.
“Who was I kidding thinking I could keep you two in separate rooms last night?” She huffed then smiled. “At least he treats you well, and makes you happy. Very, very happy!” She winked.
“Nan!” I hide my face behind my hands utterly mortified now.
“Oh everyone does it Ella, it’s how we all got here. Your Granddad he was…”
I held my hands over my ears, “I don’t want to know Nan. Granddad was a sweet old man who sucked toffees and gave me piggy back rides. That’s all I want to remember okay?”
She threw her head back and laughed. “I know my love, I’m just teasing you.”
She handed me a tray of pastries, toast, coffees and orange juice and told me to, “put your man out of his misery and tell him it’s safe to come out. I won’t shoot.”
32
It seemed that I was the only one embarrassed about the morning’s events, as Nan and Joe joked easily and bantered for most of the morning. I think Joe was Nan’s new favourite person, but I wasn’t jealous he was my favourite too. After a massive breakfast I decided to take Joe on a tour of some of the other places I used to go as a child.
We held hands and picked our way along rocky paths and sneaked through farmer’s fields making sure we closed the gates behind us. Then we reached the little stream me and my friends used to splash about in during the hot summers. I felt so relaxed and chilled, away from all the noise and rush of the city. I was just about to show him the giant oak tree with the scary roots sticking out of the ground that we used to climb all over, when I heard a familiar sound that had me squealing and jumping up into Joe’s arms, hanging onto him like a crazy pet monkey.
“Woah! What’s up?” He pulled back grinning at me.
“Geese!” I pointed and squealed as I spotted a whole gaggle of them waddling over towards us, taking up all the spare path with their stupid webbed feet and getting their evil snappy beaks ready to nip and bite us.
“Are you scared of a few geese princess?” He was finding this too amusing for my liking.
“Of course I hate them, they bite and hiss and live to terrorise us.”
He laughed at me now and I whacked his shoulder but still clung on for dear life.
The geese came towards us and surrounded us. One evil feathered beast nipped at Joe’s jeans and I screamed, climbing further up his body and clinging to him as he laughed uncontrollably at my distress.
“Oh Ella, this is just too funny. How can you live all your life in the countryside like this and be petrified of geese? They can’t hurt you, you’re ten times their size!”
I wasn’t buying it, they had hidden powers of flapping their wings and snapping those deadly beaks.
“They can hurt you!” I demanded.
Joe gently kicked his leg out in some show of manly power and the geese scattered.
“Well they might not attack you…” I argued, “But I’m not taking any chances!” I was praying for a helicopter with a ladder to come over us at that moment and save us. Even my fear of heights would be a better option right now I thought.
“So you’re scared of heights and geese… anything else I should be prepared to protect you from?”
“Escalators, I hate escalators.”
“Oh my God Ella, how on earth do you survive living in our city and not being able to use an escalator? And why haven’t I noticed this before?”
“I avoid the tube and take taxis, use the stairs or walk. It’s really much better for your health.”
“What do you think an escalator will do exactly?”