“Hey Ella, how you feeling today?”
“Well I was having a great day but now I’m a little nervous, what’s going on?”
The guy behind the desk piped up at that point. “I must take this opportunity to again voice my absolute disagreement with this matter. In all my thirty years of practising law I have never heard of such a foolhardy agreement such as this one here today. I strongly recommend that you revise your terms sir.”
Joe didn’t look at him just replied. “Your opinion is neither wanted nor required. You are here solely to oversee this matter and file the papers. Could you pass those over now please?”
The man huffed his displeasure and opened a beige folder in front of him and set them down facing me. I couldn’t believe what I read, a bloody pre-nuptial agreement.
“What the hell, you think I’m after your money, Jesus Joe. Nice touch on our wedding day.” I felt tears pool in my eyes. Why was he doing this?
“Remember what I said upstairs, it’s not what you think.” He put both his hands on my shoulders trying to force me to look at him but I just stared at the ground.
“You should know better than anyone Joe, I don’t care about money. I’d marry you if you lived in a cardboard box.” I lifted my eyes to him now. His eyes held warmth and understanding.
“Just read it, please.” He urged.
“I don’t have to read it, I’ll sign whatever you want me to.” I argued grabbing a pen from the desk.
“No Ella, I need you to read it first, it’s important to me.”
I huffed like a teenager and plonked myself down in one of the leather chairs opposite the stuffy suit who was scowling across the desk at me.
“Fine. Who are you by the way?” I asked the suit.
“I’m Mr Madden’s lawyer. Barrington Harvey-Davies.” He drawled, holding his skinny hand out to me.
“No, you’re the lawyer for both of us now, for mine and Ella’s interests Barry so get used to it.” Joe snapped and I stifled a giggle at the use of his shortened name. Barry went bright red at being chastised by Joe, and I did an internal cheer, the suit deserved it, he was a pompous ass.
“If you read from page two it will set out all the terms you need to know.” Barry said clearing his throat and giving me a pained smile.
I reluctantly turned to page two, glancing at my watch as I did.
“I’ve got to be back in twenty minutes for my hair and make-up.” I moaned.
“This won’t take long I promise.” Joe said sitting down next to me and putting his hand on my knee.
“Are you here to sign as a witness?” I asked Max who was looking decidedly uncomfortable and hopping from one foot to the other. “You look nervous Max are you okay?”
“I’m nervous about my best man speech later on. I don’t want to fuck it up.” Max replied and Joe huffed next to me.
“Yes he’s here to sign, yes he’s nervous now can you get a move on and read and sign this damn thing Ella.”
“Chill out ace, I’m getting to it.” I was putting it off, but I couldn’t stall any longer. Sulkily I sat back in my chair holding the papers up in front of me. What I read was the biggest surprise of the day so far.
A sum of 5 million pounds will be deposited into the personal account of Mrs Ella Elizabeth Madden Nee Reid on the birth of every child during the marriage.
In the event that Mr Joseph Frederick Madden has to work overseas for any length of time (Exceeding seven days) Mrs Ella Elizabeth Madden Nee Reid will accompany him along with all dependents.
In the event of any acts of adultery* carried out by Mr Joseph Frederick Madden, Mrs Ella Elizabeth Madden Nee Reid will assume control of 100% of the marital assets including all property, full business portfolio and monetary assets. Details of which are held with Harvey-Davies and Shaw Solicitors of Knightsbridge, London.
In the event of a break down of the marriage for any other reason than that stated in item 3, Mrs Ella Elizabeth Madden Nee Reid will agree to a minimum of eighteen months intensive marriage guidance counselling with a counselling service of Mr Joseph Frederick Madden’s choice. The filing of any such divorce papers or proceedings cannot be entered into until after the completion of every available level of marriage guidance and support that Mr Madden deems necessary.
*See footnotes for definition and list of the terms of adultery
“I thought I was the one locking you in today Joe, what the hell is this?” I gawped at him, my mouth wide open.
“It’s my insurance policy against losing you. I wanted to show you how serious I was about our marriage. I know you haven’t always trusted me in the past because of my history so I thought this would prove to you that I’d never hurt you like that ever.”