Obsessively Yours (Joe & Ella 1)

“Do you want to call it a day?” I asked praying he wouldn’t say yes and trying to sound nonchalant although I was anything but.

“Fuck no! I told you, this is forever Ella, I can’t stay away from you. I need you. I just don’t know what I’m doing and I need you to understand that I’m gonna keep fucking things up, but I can’t have you running away from me every time. It’s killing me. If I fuck up you tell me, talk to me. But don’t keep running its breaking me.” I melted right there in my seat.

“I want to cuddle you.” I purred.

He smiled then and said, “Come on lets climb in the back, we can cuddle all you like then.”

We climbed over the gears and plonked ourselves down into the comfy back seats. I squeezed him tight to me and buried my face in his chest.

“You like your cuddles don’t you.” He kissed the top of my head and traced circles down my arms.

“Cuddles make everything okay. Next time you mess up we should just cuddle.” I nodded up at him.

“I like that idea. I’m not usually a cuddler but I’d do anything for you Ella. You bewitch me.”

“You make me sound like some sort of sorcerer. I promise I don’t have a Joe voodoo doll.” I joked.

“I think you are magical Ella, you mesmerise me. Honestly, I mean it when I say I’ve never felt like this before. I’m 34 years old and in all those years I’ve never felt so helpless, crazy and mad all at the same time. I’ve never wanted to ‘cuddle’ one woman so much in my life. You have me Ella. I’m all yours.”

I liked hearing that, it made me feel special and I cuddled him a little bit closer making him wince.

“I feel the same too champ. I spent 6 years with Adam and I didn’t feel a fraction of the feelings with him that I feel for you Joe. I’m helpless, crazy and mad too, but in the best way.”

“I’m not good at talking. I don’t open up to people often and I like to keep my circle small.”

“I had noticed.”

“But I find myself wanting to share things with you Ella. I want you to know all about me and I want to know about you. I want everything. That first night when I saw you in the club in that ridiculous red strip of satin you called a dress I was hypnotised. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. There you were all big blue eyes and bouncing blonde curls, drifting around that dancefloor like an angel and looking up at Chris through those long lashes with such devotion. I knew then and there I wanted you. I wanted you to look at me like that. I wanted to be the centre of your world.

I didn’t know how to talk to you so I reverted to my usual asshole chat up lines, and you shot me down. I don’t blame you. But the next day all I could think about was you. Who you were, where you lived. I had to track you down. So I went back to the club and asked Rich, the owner, if he could go through the CCTV so I could find you. We saw you walk in with Robyn and Chris and he said Robyn was the coffee girl. A few calls later and a bit of digging and I had your full name, address, place of work.

I figured if I tied you to me in some way, I could win you over. Plus it was doing your agency a favour using you for my club, so I contacted your bosses and told them they’d been recommended. I did a crap job of trying to win you over again the second time. What can I say I’m rubbish at chatting up women.”

“Good!” I chipped in.

“I know I came on too strong and it wasn’t until I saw that fucker outside your house that it hit me. You didn’t want some asshole coming on to you with rubbish lines, promising you things you wouldn’t believe. You needed tender, caring and honest. I didn’t think I could do that, but I surprised even myself.” He sighed a sad long sigh.

“That loser had you for almost 6 years. 6 bloody years and he treated you like that. Like you were replaceable. But you Ella, you’re irreplaceable and the fact he’s tried to win you back shows that. He wasted 6 years, I won’t make the mistakes that he did. I find it hard to talk about feelings and shit like that. I’ve always been a closed book Ella. I learnt to shut my emotions off at a young age. My Father and brothers used their fists and I built walls up around myself, to protect myself. But I’ve told you things about myself that I’d never share with anyone else. I like sharing things with you.”

“I like that you like sharing things with me.”

“I haven’t always been a good man Ella. I’ve done some things in my past, things I’m ashamed of, but you, you make me want to be a better man. Better for you.”

“You are a good man Joe. You are good for me. I don’t want anyone else. The past is the past for a reason. Leave it where it belongs and concentrate on the here and now. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past. As long as you’re kind, honest, loyal and keep giving me kick ass orgasms every night I’m not bothered what happened in the past.”

He laughed out loud at that last comment.

“Whatever you did, it’s happened, it’s gone, none of us can change the past so don’t be so hard on yourself.” I kissed him on the cheek. His words has softened my heart and I knew I loved him. I didn’t want to scare him off by telling him though.

“I’ll try to make more of an effort. I know I’m not the friendliest guy, your friends probably hate me, but I want to try harder. You’re so important to me Ella, I want to do whatever makes you happy.”

“Slow down champ, you make me happy already, no need to make any drastic changes okay. I’ll try not to run away if you can try to talk to me more. Is that a deal?”

“Yes deal. But don’t forget the cuddling. We have to do more cuddling while we talk. I like that.”

“Me too.”

We drove back to his apartment and pulled into the underground car park.