Obsessively Yours (Joe & Ella 1)

He looked heart broken and a small part of me felt bad for turning him away, but I couldn’t let him play on my feelings of guilt. Like Colin said I had to put myself and my feelings first. He shook his head in despair.

“It’s all just bull shit Ella, please don’t do this.”

“You did it Joe, not me.”

I saw Max come into the bedroom from the corner of my eye and I breathed a sigh of relief. Robyn must have called or texted him for his help. At last someone to talk some sense into Joe.

“Joe buddy, let’s go get a drink, come on. You’re not doing yourself any favours staying here and arguing. Let Ella have some space.”

Max’s voice was calm but it had the opposite effect on Joe.

“Fuck it, fuck the lot of you. You can all go to hell.” Joe spat as he stomped out of my room, down the stairs and out of the house. The force with which he banged the front door made us all jump. I doubted the door would be in one piece when we went back downstairs.

“I’m so sorry Ella.” Max said looking forlorn, “I tried telling him he should talk to you about that time but he didn’t want to bring it up. You were his one good thing, his angel he said. He didn’t want the past tainting anything he had with you.”

“Too late Max, I’ve seen it all.”

I sank down onto my bed and the flood gates opened. I sobbed into my hands before throwing myself onto my pillow to bury my face and soak up my tears.

“What am I gonna do?” I whispered. I looked up at Max. Robyn and Chris had left us, it was just me and Joe’s best friend now.

“I still love him Max I can’t turn that off but I can’t forget what I’ve seen, I can’t ever get over that.”

“You might one day, never say never.” Max smiled sadly. “I know Joe will never give up on you.”

Hearing that broke my heart even more. I felt like running away and never coming back to my life.

“A few hours ago we were planning a weekend away. I was going to move in with him Max. I could have given him my whole life and never known any of this, my whole life would’ve been a lie.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I lay stunned looking at Max as if he could conjure up some magical solution.

“I’ll keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Max said, and my heart lurched at the thought of what something stupid might be. I couldn’t just turn my feelings off like a tap.

“Can I keep in touch with you Ella? Come and see you sometimes?” Max asked.

“Please do.” I begged, “I’d still like to see you Max, and I need to know he’s ok.”

He nodded and went to leave then stopped in the doorway and turned to me.

“I’ll give you time to cry and rant, get all your feelings out, then when things settle down a bit will you let me explain what happened back then? I have a pretty good picture I can paint for you of what that time was like for Joe and why it happened. It might help you get some things straight in your head, to try and understand it all better.”

“Okay” I answered warily, not exactly sure what kind of explanations they both seemed to think I needed to hear, but right now all I wanted to do was to crawl under my duvet and mourn what I’d lost today.

Max closed my door and I settled back down into my bed and sobbed until my eyes we

re sore and my pillow was soaked through. Chris and Robyn popped in to hug me and bring in drinks and snacks but they stayed untouched on my bedside table. My life felt like it was over. I’d found the love of my life only to have it fall apart in the worst way possible. I didn’t know how I was going to pick myself up and move on from this. I always joked that Joe had ruined me for any other man but it was true. The happy ever after I had foolishly wished for was now dead in the water and here I was alone, again. Let down by another cheater and back in the gutter of life.

I felt like a china doll that had been smashed into a million pieces. Glue might stick some pieces back together but I’d never be the same again. There would always be cracks, holes no one could fill. Maybe I’d never find happiness, and my few months with Joe were all I would ever have. I’d keep my memories and live off those for the rest of my life, trying not to let the seedy ending spoil them.

I knew that a part of me had died today. He was my soul mate, my other half but that was gone now and life would go on, but the smiles would be forced. The laughs temporary. I’d always love him, my Joe. But I couldn’t live with what he’d done, who he really was.

I fell into a broken sleep of tender kisses and warm cuddles. Of a beautiful stubbled face falling away from me, out of my reach and turning into the arms of another woman, their names on his lips and not mine. Their bodies twisting around his and grabbing at him, pulling him away from me and out of my sight. I cried out for him, but he didn’t come back to me. I was left in a pit of despair. Alone in the darkness of my life, alone and broken hearted.

Epilogue

I watched avidly from the warmth of my car as he stormed out of her house and flew down the path to disappear out of sight. Joey Madden, the one and only fuck boy of Hollywood. He couldn’t run and hide from me forever no matter what he liked to tell himself. He’d never be safe, never be free of the wrath I would unload on him. He was the devil in a designer suit and I had to put him down for all of our sakes. He’d crossed my path one too many times and now it was my turn to have all the fun. He was going to play my games now, by my rules.

She’d had a lucky escape, his girl. A man like him didn’t deserve to get a second chance. I hadn’t been given a second chance so why should he? He needed to learn that men like him were the vermin of our society. He had to learn that his vile actions had consequences, big, BIG consequences.