Un-Shattering Lucy (Lucy & Harris 4)

I refused to look up at him, so I had no idea what was in his eyes, but he sounded almost jealous. “Fuck off,” I snapped at him, still not relaxing or looking at him. I wanted away from him. Wanted to be on the other side of the fucking planet from him, anywhere but right there with his hand on me, making me feel so many things it twisted me like a pretzel.

“Smile, Lucy,” Nik commanded. I shot him a glare as he snapped a picture.

“Come on, Lu. Smile just once for me,” my dad urged.

If anyone else had asked me to smile, I would have flipped them off, but I couldn’t let him down. Somehow I found the strength to make my facial muscles lift in a small smile, but as soon as he snapped a picture I was jerking away from Harris and heading for the parking lot.

I couldn’t deal with this shit today. It was asking too much to have to smile like I was on top of the world while standing beside the guy who had destroyed me.

Chapter 6

Lucy

“One shot.” The tequila didn’t leave a fiery trail down my throat. I’d already drunk so much of it that I was numb to the blaze. “Two shots. Three shots, four.” I gulped the three shots down like they were water, welcoming the heat in my stomach. “How many shots until I feel no more?”

I paused in the process of refilling my four shot glasses and laughed at the little rhyme I’d just made up. I was already drunk and it was only nine thirty. I’d started drinking as soon as we’d gotten back to Kin’s apartment. Thankfully, Marcus wasn’t with us tonight. I’d asked for a night off from being the ‘rock princess’ so I could just let loose and be a normal eighteen-year-old celebrating with her friends. Luckily I hadn’t had to try hard. My parents hadn’t even questioned my request but had told me to have fun.

It wasn’t about having fun for me. It was about drinking until I threw up and then drinking some more. Drinking away all the things swirling around in my head. Drinking away the pain that tried to consume me every second of every day. Drinking away the urge to find a damn razor blade.

As soon as Kin had unlocked her door I’d picked up the first bottle of alcohol I had found and started drinking it. Now the tequila was half gone, but the pain still remained. All the booze had done was make me giggly.

Fucking giggly.

The party had been going on for a few hours now, but I hadn’t joined in on it. I’d gone to the guest room where I would be sleeping that night and locked the door. Then I’d opened the door to the balcony and parked my ass in one of the lounge chairs. I’d been tossing back a shot as the sun had set over the Pacific, unable to enjoy the beauty because I’d heard Harris’s voice down in the parking lot as he and Jace had gotten out of the taxi that had brought them. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could pick out the deep timbre of Harris’s voice in a crowd of ten thousand.

Muttering a curse to myself, I lined up the shot glasses again and poured the tequila into each one. I spilled more than I actually got into the glasses, but I didn’t care. It was probably better that I was wasting some. Maybe I could avoid alcohol poisoning.

Setting the pretty skull bottle down on the little table beside my lounger, I reached for the shots and gulped them all down. There were several street lights shining down in the parking lot so I could see some of the party guests were down there. A few people were sitting on the beach, watching the waves hit the sand. A few of them were out there making out.

“Lucy?”

I didn’t bother to acknowledge the voice that called out to me from the other side of the guest bedroom door. I didn’t want company. Especially his company.

“Come on, Lu. Open up.”

Ignoring the shot glasses, I picked up the bottle of tequila and took several gulps, only stopping when the urge to cry faded.

I wondered if my dad knew I would be getting wasted. Probably. He’d been young at one point. Surely he wouldn’t begrudge me this time to be stupid. Hell, he was a rock legend. I was sure he’d done more than just get drunk a few times over the years.

My phone started buzzing on the little table where I’d tossed it earlier. I’d turned off the ringer, but it still vibrated with each text or call that I’d been ignoring all evening. Taking another swallow of tequila, I reached for it, deciding to turn the damn thing off.

Open the fucking door.

I blinked down at the message that was still lighting up my phone screen, thinking I’d read that wrong. Nope. It was still the same words with the same name right above it. Harris. I hadn’t seen his name on my phone in months. He hadn’t called or texted to see if I was okay. Hadn’t tried to find out how school was. Hadn’t done shit.

Fuck that.

Fuck him.

I frowned down at the phone for another moment, then shrugged and threw it over the balcony. I heard someone squeal and couldn’t help giggling. The phone must have landed near them.

“Lucy!” the squealer yelled. “What the hell are you doing?”

Shit. Kin. “I’m getting drunk,” I called back.

“Already there, babe. I’ve got your phone. Lucky for you Jace caught it.”

I shrugged, too drunk to comprehend that no one could see me. “Throw it in the ocean, Jace.”