I feltlike a zombie as I went through my normal routine the next day. Not even Alessia cooing as she snuggled against my chest could bring a smile to my face. I avoided Bain all day as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say to him.
At dinner, my time was up, and we sat down to have our evening meal together while the girls took their last nap of the day.
I was already at the table, the steak and salad I’d requested already sitting in front of me. Bain came in, dropped a kiss on my brow, and took his place across from me. All while never once looking up from his phone.
Not having an appetite, I sat with my hands folded in my lap, waiting for him to put his phone away so I could confront him. But the longer it took, the angrier I got—and the hurt grew. He still hadn’t mentioned going to Ireland, and according to what I’d overheard the night before, he was leaving the next day.
Finally, he placed his phone with the screen side down on the table. He picked up his knife and fork and started cutting into his steak, but his eyes kept going to his phone. Waiting for Cori to reply?
I didn’t trust myself to speak without bursting into tears, so I followed his example and picked up my utensils, eating because I needed the nutrients for the girls. When his phone vibrated, he picked it up in a flash, dropping his fork on the plate with a loud clatter.
Whatever he read on the screen had him grinning, and I had to take a drink of my water to swallow the lump that filled my throat.
“G-good news?” I asked in a choked voice.
“Mm,” he muttered without taking his gaze off the phone. “The best.”
“Care to share?” I gritted out.
“Sorry, mo chroí. It’s a surprise.” His grin only grew bigger, if that was even possible, considering how it was already splitting his face. I’d only ever seen him this happy about something a handful of times in the entire time I’d known him. “But I promise to tell you all about it when I get back from Ireland.”
His promises meant jack shit to me, but at least he’d finally brought up his trip.
“You’re going to Ireland?” I tried to keep my tone casual, but it still came out cold. Not that he noticed. He was too busy texting back whomever. Probably Cori. “When?”
“I leave tomorrow and should be back in a few days. Maybe longer. Depends how fast I can wrap everything up.”
He couldn’t even bother to look at me when he spoke, and that was just another slap in the face. Was I that unimportant to him now? Had I ever been important to him?
The rest of the meal was spent in silence, and I was thankful when I shoved the last bite of steak into my mouth. Pushing my chair back, I stood without bothering to speak to him. Leaving my dishes on the table for the cook to deal with, I left the dining room and went up to check on the girls.
Elda was wide awake when I walked in, and I tried to hold back my tears, not wanting to upset her or her sisters as I went about my evening routine of feeding, bathing, and then cuddling with each girl before bed. It was hard to divide my time between all three so they got equal parts of me, and there were moments when one of them—usually Alessia—needed me more than the others. But I hoped they understood I was doing my best.
When I went into my bedroom, Bain’s carry-on was out and open. His clothes were already neatly inside, and he came out of the bathroom with his toiletries case and his phone to his ear. From what little I heard, he was talking to the pilot, and they were discussing his early morning takeoff.
Once he ended the call, he finished packing while I climbed into bed, too tired to even shower the day off me.
Leaning back against the headboard, I watched him double-check that he had everything.
“Bain…”
“Mm?” He had his phone in his hand yet again, texting away like his life depended on it. Didn’t he realize that his life was here? That I was right in front of him, and he was losing me? “What is it, mo chroí?”
“Don’t go,” I whispered, giving him one last chance to pick me. Us.
The hand holding the phone dropped to his side as he turned to face me, his brows pulled together in surprise. “What?”
I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. “Don’t go to Ireland tomorrow. S-stay. I…need you here.”
He crossed to the bed and sat beside me. “I know you’re nervous about being alone with the girls for a few days, but you’re going to be just fine. You are an amazing mother. So much so that I feel pretty useless at times.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “You’ll be so busy, you won’t even have time to miss me.”
When he moved to stand, I grasped his hand, stopping him. “I’m asking you not to go.”
For the first time ever, I saw annoyance flash in his eyes. “I have to go, Ciana. I’ve let some things go long enough. This needs to happen now before I lose my mind.”
I pulled my hand back. “Right,” I said with a weak nod. “Okay. I-I won’t ask again.”
Another kiss was placed on top of my head when he got to his feet. As if I were one of the girls and not his wife. “I won’t be gone long. Once I’m back, we have a lot to discuss.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “We should definitely talk when you return.”