Dark Notes

My body is numb, but not numb enough. I feel his fingers yanking down my panties. I smell the greed he exhales onto my face.

“I got grounded today.” He drags the underwear down my legs and off my feet. “For two months.”

Nothingness rings in my ears. Everything is too quiet, too lifeless in the absence of Mr. Marceaux.

“But I’ll find a way to meet up with you.” He pushes me onto my back.

I can’t do this again. Can’t endure his hands, his thrusts, the sounds of his pleasure. This thing he does with me, it’s not rape, but it still feels forced, unwanted, dreaded. If I tell him no, he will force it. Maybe I can fight him off this time, but what happens to my bills? My future?

He pries my knees apart, and I jerk them back together.

“What are you doing?” Kneeling over me, he shoves his trousers down his thighs.

The outcomes of my choices are so illogical. If I keep my legs closed, I might lose my house and turn into a crack whore like my mom. If I let Prescott do what he wants, I have a chance at something great. How messed up is that?

I push my hands against him, holding him away. “I don’t want this.”

But I do. I want this in a non-grabby, non-needy, give-and-take way. I want to connect with a man the way I want my music to connect with an audience. Emotionally. Profoundly. Innately.

I want this with someone who cares.

He forces his hips between my legs and wrestles my swinging arms. “What’s wrong with you?”

“This.” I ram my forearms against his chest. “You.”

The throaty rumble of an engine sounds in the distance, growing louder, closer, vibrating my body.

The hairs lift on my arms, and I strain my eyes through the darkness of the back seat, unable to see.

“Is that…?” I grab Prescott’s shoulders as he mounts me. I try to push him off, a wasted effort. “Is that a GTO?”

“Fuck if I know.” He grips his dick, poking it around my opening. “Hold still.”

The rumbling car is close. Close enough to stop on the street. Close enough that Prescott lifts his head to look out the back window.

“Shit,” he whispers. “Someone’s here.”

Ice fills my veins. He’s looking for me? I gulp for air and shove against Prescott’s frozen chest.

He can’t see me like this. He can’t. He can’t.

I kick and buck, trying to straighten my skirt, unable to move Prescott’s weight.

“Move!” Oh God, I can’t close my legs.

The door behind him swings open, and the sudden overhead light hurts my eyes. An arm reaches in, and in a blink, Prescott is jerked from the car and flying backward, vanishing in the pitch-black of night.

The sounds of pained grunts harmonize with the purr of the idling GTO. I grapple with the skirt, yank it down my legs, my eyes wide and locked on the open door.

Footsteps close in, the crunch of boots on gravel. Black slacks, a waistcoat, then a tie fills the door frame. He bends down, and when his face lowers into view, all I see is murderous blue.

I can’t move. Can’t breathe. This is it. He might as well kill me, because my life ends now.

No Le Moyne. No Leopold. No future.

No more music with Mr. Marceaux.

He stabs a finger in the direction of the street and bellows, “Get your fucking ass in my car!”

The fucker is going to die.

I leave Ivory to collect her things from the car as I storm back to the moaning piece of shit on the ground. Despite my cloud of rage, I managed to contain all the punches to Prescott’s ribs when I ripped him from the back seat. But as he stares up at me now, arms wrapped around his mid-section, my hands clench to shatter every bone in his contorted face.

The shadows of Central City’s projects blanket the empty lot. The decrepit walls of apartment buildings are poorly lit, and the groves of overgrowth and garbage stink of abandonment. Thickly-leaved vines climb light poles and crumbling foundations, forming a protective veil in the absence of moonlight.

Prescott sprawls on his back with his pants bunched around his thighs. One glance at the condom still hanging from his flaccid dick, and my control disintegrates. Madness like I’ve never known explodes hot and thick inside me, constricting my chest and burning my muscles.

This is the perfect place to kill someone. No one will see. No one will care.

I crouch over him and wrap my fingers around his throat. “You’re dead.”

He claws at my hand, sucking for air. “N-not just me. She’s a whore and f…f…fucks everyone.”

Primal rage smothers me, blinding my vision and fogging my mind. I move on instinct, rearing back and driving my knuckles, hard and fast, into his chest.

A scream coughs from his lungs. “Oh God, please, please…”