Lora raised her chin, lifting her glass. “The wine and I are rarely wrong.” We laughed together, as the server cleared our glasses, suggest
ing we switch to a sweeter wine for dessert.
“That was an unbelievably decadent meal,” I said with a sigh. “But I think we’d better test out the desserts anyway. For research purposes, of course.”
Lora nodded quite seriously. “I agree. It would be completely irresponsible of us not to get the full experience.”
Without even ordering, the server brought us a platter of two-bite chocolate brownies, fruit dipped in chocolate, baby lemon tarts, and more. As soon as he was a few steps away, Lora stared at me, dramatically mouthing the words, "Holy shit." She was so immediately likable that I sort of felt ashamed at having been nervous to meet her.
As if she had read my mind, Lora said, "Nate mentioned that you're sort of quiet. Sometimes shy. Are you just that way with men?"
I popped a miniature pumpkin pie into my mouth to give me a moment to think. "No, not just men. Everyone who is a stranger."
She nodded, taking a sip of wine. "But you seem absolutely fine with me. Are you putting on a brave face, but you’re all jumpy inside?"
Lora seemed genuinely interested, and her openness to talk about it was a huge relief.
"I've always been a bit nervous around new people, but it also really bothers me when I don't have any control over the situation. When I'm forced to speak with a stranger, I feel really helpless and out of my element. Once I get chatting and discover a couple of points of conversation we have in common, I unclench."
Lora nodded thoughtfully. "It's good that you can fake your way through it. I know that some people can't even leave their homes." She stared into space for a second. “With me, I get super nervous in very quiet places. Or places where you have to behave in a strict way, like a wedding."
I laughed. "No offense, but I can't imagine you being scared in any situation."
She smiled. "Everyone has something. Nate is terrified of bees."
"What?" I vaguely recalled him saving me from a spider way back when.
"Yeah, he got stung between two fingers a couple of years ago, and it got infected. A nurse had to dig out the stinger with a needle or something. Apparently it creeped him right out, and he hasn't been the same."
"That is so weird." Taking a long sip of water, I looked out at the street lights, feeling strange talking about Nate at all.
"Everyone has some unusual glitches in their personality," Lora said. "Most people wouldn't delay the start of their new band for a couple of months to go on national TV to find their high school girlfriend. You know, for example," she laughed.
"Wait, what?"
Her face fell. "Shit. You didn't realize that's the main reason he went on the show?” I stared at her blankly.
“Yeah,” she continued. “He told his manager it was for publicity for the new band, and he was really excited about the love song format, and all that rot. But he was looking for you. His website had a huge pink button at the top begging people to email Dave if they had any information on his Trisha."
My hands began to visibly shake, and I couldn't stop them. Only stare at them. My chest was a cavern, echoing from the sound of a distant slow thumping heartbeat.
"Maybe he's overly romantic, " Lora said softly, "But there aren't many guys who would go to those lengths for someone." She reached out to place her hand over my shaking fingers on the table. "Take a breath," she suggested. "It shouldn't be scary that he really loves you."
It wasn’t the amount of his love that frightened me. It was that it hadn’t dimmed at all, even when I wasn’t there. No woman could live up to expectations that had been built up for seven straight years, when she’d had no idea about it.
I’d always been insecure around how Nate was so much more desirable in every possible way. He was gorgeous, talented, and larger than life. Did I want to devote my entire life to trying to keep up to him, and still always lagging behind?
With a relationship this unbalanced, was there any chance it could ever even out?
Chapter Sixteen ~ Nate
* Vanilla and Girl *
Lugging my suitcase into yet another hotel room, I was glad to be in Vancouver. Looking around at the cream and brass fixtures, the tranquil nature photos on the wall, and the soothing corporate blue bedspread, I knew I’d never get sick of hotels. Somehow they’re just amusing in the way they’re designed to be completely inoffensive.
Trisha had told me which hotel she was staying in, so I was able to get booked there as well. Naturally, I was hoping that I’d end up staying in her room, but the last thing I could do was make assumptions right now.
Knowing that she didn’t quite trust our relationship yet was a ghost-like shadow floating around the back of my mind. She had always taken her time coming to terms with things. I couldn’t stop the disappointment that I wasn’t the exception.