Donuts and Handcuffs

Once we’d both had several large sips of wine, and I was snuggled against his shoulder in my new favorite spot on the couch, I realized I hadn’t been this relaxed in ages. Possibly ever. My limbs actually felt longer, and my breathing felt smooth.

I had been so anxious about my new business, and making it on my own, that I hadn’t stopped very often to take a breath and just enjoy the little moments. This hunk of a man was definitely a good influence on me.

Daniel’s lips brushed against my hair in a gentle kiss, then he chuckled.

“What is it?” I asked, looking up with a grin.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, and I don’t want to embarrass you, but it’s rather funny.”

I tried my best to glare at him. “Then tell me now.”

“When I was holding you still in the hospital, you brushed your cheek against my chest and kissed me right here,” he said, lifting my finger and drawing a circle over his heart. “It was absolutely adorable, and I kissed the top of your head as you fell back asleep. You snuggled against me as if you were freezing, and needed the warmth. But it felt like a lot more.”

I could feel my cheeks flaming. “We all crave human contact. And yeah, it’s been a while.”

“For the record, Bailey, I’ll always be right here for you. Whatever you need. Cuddles, more, less, whatever you want. And I’ll always be a phone call or a text away if you want to talk.”

His fingertips were drawing circles around my shoulder and arm, and in my floating tranquil state, his low voice was lulling me to sleep. “I want you to feel safe now, Bailey. I will do absolutely everything in my power to make you feel that way. Do you understand?”

My eyelids were getting heavy, but I nodded. “Thank you, Daniel. They always said that I needed to stick with my own kind. But they were wrong,” I mumbled. “I needed to find somebody who was actually kind. I think you’re the one that I’ve been needing.”

My head rolled into his shoulder as he picked me up, taking me back to bed, and spooning me under the blankets. With his massive chest pressed against my spine, I felt both tiny and powerful. As if this beautiful man truly had my back in every possible way.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I’d always been an incredibly light sleeper. There had always been loud, weird noises in the middle of the night when I was young. Strange voices in the kitchen. The thump of gear being unloaded outside my window. Unusual cars and vans at all hours. Heavy footsteps banging down to the triple-locked rooms in the basement.

It didn’t help that my family moved every year or two, so I was always becoming accustomed to a new place. A new neighborhood. We’d be near the train tracks one year, and beside a loud arena the next. Nothing ever felt like home.

Sometimes I wondered whether I should look into what it does to a child who has grown up with no home base. No friends, no foundation. Yet I knew I could easily fall down a rabbit hole of self-analysis that would likely take my focus away from my work. That was the only thing that I had the mental capacity to lock my attention on. Just work. Which is why I hadn’t relaxed in so very long.

Slowly gaining consciousness in Daniel’s arms was the first time I think I slept for seven solid hours, waking up perfectly calm.

I felt so grounded. Peaceful. It was strange thinking that some people felt like this their entire lives.

Glancing at the clock, I reluctantly wiggled out of his grasp, tying my hair into a messy topknot and adding a few colorful plastic clips before taking a two-minute shower.

It was customary for bakers to wear white, but nothing ever stayed stain-free in the kitchen. I wore comfortable dark pants, with an array of pastel-colored T-shirts or button-down shirts that were baggy enough that I could roll up the sleeves. I bought them by the dozen at a secondhand store. I had to think of my work clothes as temporary, since they rarely lasted longer than a month before being destroyed.

Everything had been temporary throughout my entire life, but now I finally had a sense of belonging. A home, a business. I was making friends and getting to know the neighbors.

And now I had Daniel. I didn’t know what sort of relationship he was expecting, but he seemed to be okay leaving things unstructured for the moment. I needed to be able to take my time before I started putting labels on things.

My mind wanted to zoom into the future and imagine a world where Daniel and I were together forever. But that was not a productive path for my uncaffeinated mind to wander along. I couldn’t imagine what might happen somewhere down the road if my fake identification didn’t hold up. I couldn’t imagine what might happen if he ever had a reason to run a background check on me.

“Hey,” he murmured from my bed as I pulled my socks on. “Why are you leaving this incredibly comfortable place?”

“Somebody has to make donuts so that the local police station doesn’t freak out,” I laughed.

Crawling across the bed, I gave him a huge kiss. “What time do you work?”

He glanced over at the clock, then made a face. “I have to work early today. Crap. Is it okay if I grab a quick shower here?”

“Of course.”

By the time he came into the kitchen fully dressed, I had a scrambled egg bagel ready for him, wrapped in wax paper. “This is always my breakfast on the go.”

His sweet grin made my heart race. “Thank you, Bailey. You’re amazing.”