Donuts and Handcuffs

“Get your hands off him,” she screeched. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Then she tried to reach for something in her pocket. Her arm twisted behind her back as her shoulder met the brick wall carefully, as I kept her face away from the stone. Once her arms were pinned, the fight drained out of her as she realized I was much larger, much heavier, and easily able to snap her in half if I wanted to.

But I would never actually hurt her. Even as I used my biggest booming tone to state, “Freeze. You are under arrest for assaulting an officer.”

That took the last of the spark out of her, as I held her steady against the wall, tapping her ankles out with my foot so that she was properly pinned and unable to kick me. Reaching for my cuffs, I looked at Dave, who was already escorting his suspect into the back of a cruiser.

Glancing in the other direction, I saw Bailey’s wide eyes as she backed away from me slowly.

She was carrying two grocery bags, her cheeks slightly pink from the chilly breeze as she watched me holding a tiny woman’s face to the wall.

She turned and ran so fast it wasn’t even worth calling after her. I cuffed the woman, sending her off in the cruiser while warning those officers that she was definitely high on something.

I joined Dave back in the convenience store to get a statement from Mr. Welsh, trying to focus.

Every question I had about Bailey flew out of my mind for the moment, except one. Did I frighten her? Did she think that I was being too rough with that woman? Did she see how careful I was, that I was just restraining her in my usual methodical way?

I went home after my shift with a tightness in my chest. Knowing that I may have upset Bailey was completely disturbing. My stomach was in knots. It felt like my pulse wouldn’t remain steady. Having the woman I was falling for disappointed in me hit me harder than I would have ever anticipated.

It was disgusting that I had been accustomed to that feeling with my ex, Ashley. She was always disappointed that I couldn’t take vacations when it was convenient for her, or go out dancing till all hours because I had an early shift. It truly bothered her that I wouldn’t put her ahead of my job.

It told me that she had no respect for my position, or for me. But it also illustrated the fact that she was a selfish, spoiled little brat, with no sense of responsibility.

That was one of the things I adored about Bailey. She understood that sometimes work comes first. And she was obviously a very hard worker. I admired her for that.

I knew it was far too soon to have feelings of this magnitude for a girl I barely knew, but it was out of my control. The tingling feeling of warmth that caressed my soul every time I thought of her had overtaken me.

The decision was made before I’d even thought it through completely. We just needed to talk. Whatever was going on, I would listen with an open mind. I believed in her.

Pulling out my phone, I sent a text. “Bailey – I’m so sorry that you saw me restraining that woman today. Please know that I was as gentle with her as possible, even though she was trying to punch me in the teeth. Can we talk about this?”

The next twelve minutes felt like an eternity. Then I got a response.

“That was surprising to see. But some other things are going on as well. I think I’m going to need a day or two to get my head together. Then we’ll talk.”

My breath caught in my throat. It felt like every heartbeat echoed through my chest, making strange, hollow noises. After taking a few moments to compose myself, I replied. “Okay. Please know that I’m right here for you. Let’s talk soon.”

Once again, I went to sleep early because I couldn’t stand being awake any longer. The tumbling of questions in the back of my mind had become even heavier, clanking around like steel shrapnel. My unease was deafening. I wished that Bailey was in my arms. Even if we didn’t speak, I wanted to be the one to warm her. To hold her so that she knew that she was safe.

If that had indeed been

her father, I wanted her to know that I would still protect her, even from him. If she’d run this far from him, she likely wasn’t wrapped up in his life. I had to believe that Bailey truly was the good woman I was falling completely in love with.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The next morning, I noticed that my hands were shaking as I was rolling out the dough to make cookies. Baking had always created a gentle, happy atmosphere where I disappeared into the work, and every problem I had was filed away in a different section of my brain for me to deal with later.

Even after making up a new recipe for lemon-lime mint sugar cookies with caramel drizzle, I couldn’t stop thinking about Daniel.

I’d been raised with rough men. My father and my uncles were always throwing each other around when they were joking and burning off that weird adrenaline that seemed to overtake them when they were getting ready for a job.

But Daniel hadn’t looked rattled like that. He looked calm. He was restraining that woman, but there must have been a good reason. It was his job. Maybe she was some kind of psycho.

Seeing him actually doing his job as a cop was a strange bucket of cold water over the feelings I had for him that had been running wildly out of control.

He was a police officer. And even though I had never been directly involved, I was aware of too many crimes to count. Even if I was just a child through most of it, and it wasn’t my fault, it may have been in my nature.

I knew that someone with my messed up childhood should be in therapy, but there was no way I could start a session by saying, “So, I come from a family of criminals, got messed up with a car thief, and please don’t ever ask me for my real last name or what city I’m running from.”