Lights, Camera, Lies

1

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Alice

I’d run the numbers every which way I possibly could, but it always boiled down to the same thing. The best chance for my future was riding on my ability both to look good on camera , and pretend that a total stranger was the love of my life.

Sure, no problem. Piece of cake.

As I smoothed down my well-worn skirt, I tried to calm my breathing. I had managed to get myself out of all sorts of lousy financial situations before, and I could do it again. All I had to do now was focus, and hope for the best from the people who ran this crazy online game show.

“Alice, you’re on in thirty seconds,” whispered Darlene, a blonde woman dressed in black that I’d met when I first arrived. She seemed to be the director. She adjusted her headset, then guided me to the edge of the stage.

The set was in a television studio that looked like it hadn’t been touched since perhaps the eighties. Only the area actually being used to shoot had been cleaned, and the background wall still smelled of fresh paint. It seemed that this show was being thrown together at the last second on an absolute shoestring budget.

As long as I got paid, I didn’t care about the end result. Sure, it would be nice to win, but I’d never been particularly competitive. As long as I made a good showing, and didn’t completely embarrass myself, I’d be delighted.

Darrell Carson, the host of the show, strode onstage, waving madly as if there was an audience of a thousand, instead of the twelve or so people sitting on cheap folding chairs, already looking bored.

“Welcome to the show, friends,” he exclaimed, flashing a megawatt smile that was even brighter next to his slightly orange tinted tan. His shiny dark blue suit looked atrocious in person, but on the monitor beside the camera it looked totally chic.

“This is Lights, Camera, Lies – where total strangers pretend to be lovers. Whichever couple lies the most convincingly through our three challenges wins!”

A few audience members chuckled half heartedly. Darlene whispered, “Don’t worry, we’ll sweeten the audio in post.”

“It’s time to meet our next contestant,” Darrell continued, pacing around the small stage like a stand-up comic. “Let’s have a warm welcome for Alice!” His arm swept in my direction, waving me into the lights.

Taking a deep breath, I rolled my shoulders back, lifted my chin and took careful steps over the cables until I was on the stage.

“Hi, Darrell, so nice to meet you,” I beamed, feeling my cheeks stretch from the phony smile.

“Alice, tell us a bit about yourself.”

“Well, Darrell,” I said, keeping my chin up and shoulders straight so that I didn’t jostle my little lapel microphone, “I’m a part-time librarian who is training to be a cat therapist. My hobbies include propagating all sorts of ivy so that I can give plants to my friends for every occasion, and inventing new flavors of sugar cookies.”

I flashed the camera a warm smile, then turned back to Darrell, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Excellent,” he nodded. “Wonderful lying technique. Now Alice, why don’t you really tell us about yourself?”

I relaxed my shoulders and turned my smile down by half. “I’m an art student, who really wants to travel to Italy so that I can see some of my favorite artists’ paintings in person for my thesis research.”

“But the ivy part is real, isn’t it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not in the slightest,” I said, surprising myself with a giggle. “I live in a tiny apartment with three other roommates, and my room has no daylight.”

Darrell’s giant smile faltered for a second, and I realized with horror that he might think I was trying to play the pity card.

“There’s tons of light in the living room though,” I said brightly. “So maybe I’ll make that lie come true someday.”

He laughed brightly, patting me on the shoulder. “Wonderful. Folks, our studio audience is going to vote now on whether or not Alice will be paired as one of our three instant couples, so stay tuned for more.”

“Clear,” Darlene announced.

As I glanced to the audience, there didn’t seem to be any way for them to vote. Most of them were chatting quietly to each other instead of paying attention anyway.

“Don’t worry,” Darrell said quietly. “You’re already in.”

“What do you mean?”

He leaned closer to whisper, “This show is on a super tight deadline, and there weren’t a lot of applicants. Just keep playing along.”