Lights, Camera, Lies

Before I could speak, Taylor wrapped his coat around my shoulders more tightly. “Sorry, but I don’t like thinking that you’re cold.”

“Thank you,” I murmured.

Staring down at my knees for a moment, I tried to collect my thoughts. “I don’t like being treated like a little girl,” I said slowly.

Taylor turned to me with his mouth open and eyes wide. “Jesus Christ, baby, I never meant for–”

“Please,” Gretchen said, holding up her hand. “Let Alice speak her piece, then you can respond.”

“Sorry,” he muttered. Stealing another look, his eyes looked positively haunted.

“I had…issues when I was young.” It was difficult and humiliating to say, but somehow I had to spit it out. “My father thought that because he controlled the money, he controlled everyone in the house. He didn’t listen to a word my mother said, and treated her like an idiot until she left.”

Taylor’s fingers slipped through mine, as he mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.”

“When the bills were due, there were some months we had to choose between food and the electric bill. But he never told me what was going on. So I was literally in the dark many times. I had to lurk around trying to overhear phone calls and finding where he hid the bills just so I could try to survive. I hated not knowing what was going on, and I ended up hating him for it.”

“Very good,” Gretchen murmured. “Keep going.”

Nodding slowly, I took a deep breath. “It’s really hard for me to trust people. One strike, and you’re out. I gave my father dozens of last chances, and it broke me.”

Sliding sideways to face Taylor head on, I continued. “So when you strongly suggest I avoid getting a light gray car because you’re concerned for my safety, it’s overly protective, but sweet. But when you don’t tell me the entire truth about other things, it makes me feel like I’m not your real partner. Hiding anything from me drives me completely insane, and I don’t think I can change that part of me.”

Gretchen nodded, smiling widely. “Very good. Thank you, Alice. Taylor, how does that make you feel?”

“Horrified,” he growled softly.

“What makes you use that word?” Gretchen asked.

“Just thinking about my sweet girl not having electricity, not having heat in her home, kills me.”

“It sounds like you truly care about her,” Gretchen said softly.

His thumb ran along my palm so gently that it started to melt the wall between us. My body was once again paying zero attention to the stresses in my mind.

“Alice, I would never want to control you. I will suggest things, but you can always tell me no.”

I managed to meet his eyes for a moment, and nodded encouragingly.

“The money means nothing to me,” he said softly. “It piled up because I didn’t have much to spend it on. Now I have plenty of it, and I hope that you’ll let me share. What’s mine is yours.”

Gretchen nodded. “Alice, can you think of a way that you could share his wealth while still keeping your own personal boundaries?”

“I think I could learn to share completely if I knew he trusted me completely,” I said. “If I knew that he would tell me the entire story at all times.”

“Has he ever not told you the entire story?” Gretchen asked.

“Yes.” I paused to sort out how to be vague enough. “It was a business venture, but he knew I would have strong opinions about it, so he kept it from me.”

“Taylor,” Gretchen asked, leaning back in her chair, “Have you ever lied to Alice?”

From the look in his eyes, she might as well have punched him.

“Never,” he said. “And I never will. If it was absolutely necessary, I would lie to anyone else on the planet. But never my Alice.”

He paused, then squeezed my hands gently. “I honestly didn’t mean to hide anything from you, I just didn’t want to dump too much on you at once. I won’t make that mistake again, I swear.”

Taylor held up a finger to Dr. Gretchen, then leaned in to breathe in my ear. “I swear, if it’s what you want, I’ll give everything to my cousins and wash my hands of it. I need you, baby.”