I picked up the wrench as he started to call after me.
“Excuse me, miss. You can’t just come in here and take that. That’s our property. Miss-”
I walked right over to the white van parked out front and lifted the wrench high into the air before crashing it down onto the windscreen. Seeing the glass crack and shatter was surprisingly satisfying. I lifted it up again, smashing down hard on the glass and feeling some of the tension from earlier trickle out of me as I pounded out my aggression. Maybe Britney had it right all along. This certainly felt better than sitting around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for karma to do its shit for me.
I didn’t feel anything other than overwhelming, all-consuming rage. Pound after pound I could sense the anger mutating; changing into something I could control and channel. Maybe I was more like my boxer brother than I realised. Violence felt good.
But then, all too soon, it was over. I was being lifted into the air from behind and voices were shouting all around me. I saw an older man, probably Mr Hardy, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pointing to the van, saying, “Mr. Gale is coming to collect his van at five. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t let him see that.”
The mechanic that I’d seen when I’d arrived was covering his mouth and looking between me and the rest of them who’d spilled out onto the forecourt after hearing my outburst. I spotted Emily Winters walking towards me with fake concern in her eyes. She was speaking softly, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying over the ringing in my ears. Then Ryan’s voice boomed loud like a fucking tannoy, obliterating my anger-induced haze and yanking me into the present. He’d been the one to pull me away, and he was holding me, trying to shake my hand and get me to drop the wrench.
“Put it down. For fuck’s sake, Harper. Put the fucking wrench down.”
From the fear in his voice, I guessed he thought I was going to hurt Emily, so I dropped it. As soon as I did, he let me go and reached down to get it, sliding it across the ground as far away from me as he could.
“What the hell is all this? Ryan? Can you tell me what’s going on?” The older guy was still tugging at his hair, looking like a broken windscreen was the worst fucking thing to ever happen in his life. Lucky him.
“Dad, this is Harper Yates,” Ryan said, and his dad’s face fell in recognition. “Don’t worry about the damage, Dad. It’s just the glass. The bodywork is fine. Kieron can fix it and I’ll pay for it out of my wages.” He turned to face the other guy that was still gawping at me. “Kieron, mate. Can you fit a new windscreen before five? I’ll pay you extra?”
Kieron nodded like it was nothing and headed back to the workshop.
“I’ll pay for the damage,” I said, suddenly finding my voice. “I thought it was your van.” I glared at Ryan as he put his arm around Emily.
“We don’t want your money,” Ryan spat, and then he went to walk away, but Emily stopped him.
“Harper, will you come inside and talk to us? Just for a minute. I can make you a coffee and you can tell us why you came here today.”
What the fuck did she care? Her dad was about to go down for a stretch, and her mum was the biggest fuck up in Sandland. Well, she was until I started vying for that role.
Why were my problems so important to her?
Did she get off on playing the role of the saint?
Probably.
My shit probably helped her to forget about her own.
“She didn’t come here to talk, Em. She came here to cause trouble.” Ryan eyeballed me like I was the enemy.
“As if I’d get any answers out of you, anyway. You’re all as bad as each other.”
“How do you know if you don’t at least try? Ask us the questions and we’ll try to answer. After the last few months, we’re all about honesty.” Emily looked at Ryan then back at me. “At least let us try to help. We could all use a friend sometimes.”
“You’re not my friend and you never will be.” I stood there as Emily, Ryan, and his dad stared blankly back at me.
We could all use a friend?
Her words rang in my ears and the heat of tears welled up in my eyes.
Friends.
I didn’t have any. Not really. Sally had been a friend, but after dating Brodie and going through a messy break-up, she hadn’t spoken to me. Not for ages. She didn’t even reach out when he died or come to his funeral. Brodie’s friends had been my friends. And now? They’d closed ranks. Gone into hiding and turned their backs on me.
In that moment, I realised I had no one. No one I could talk to about any of this. I couldn’t tell my mum and dad about the nightmares that plagued me. They had their own grief to contend with. I couldn’t tell anyone about my secret stalker, and if I did, they probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. I’d driven here for a reason, and these people owed me. I needed answers and I needed to offload.
“Fine,” I snapped. “But don’t think this changes anything.”
I picked my way over the broken glass on the floor and followed Emily and Ryan inside. Mr Hardy stayed where he was and gave me a sympathetic smile. I couldn’t look at him though, because despite my unbridled anger, I also felt shame. Shame for the way I’d behaved on his property. That wasn’t me. I didn’t hurt people, and I didn’t cause trouble. What the hell was happening to me?