He turned to give Harper a questioning look, but she avoided his gaze and kept her glare on me. If looks could kill, I’d be kicking back in hel
l with the best of them right now.
“Its fine, Dad. I’ll get rid of him.”
He turned back to me and gave me a threatening look as he said, “I don’t want any trouble.”
“You won’t get any trouble from me, sir.”
He nodded but didn’t look convinced.
“Well, at least you have some manners.” He looked me up and down. “Maybe appearances are deceiving, after all.”
Story of my life. But then again, I didn’t have the best track record and most of the time my appearance was in alignment with my intentions; in your face and ready for violence. But not with her. Never with her.
Her dad left us, and she came to stand on the porch with me, closing the front door so no one would hear us. She wrapped her arms around herself like she was trying to form a protective barrier from me or whatever I might say.
“Why have you followed me here?” she asked. “Haven’t you done enough?”
“I’m not leaving it like that,” I said, taking a step towards her.
“Like what? Me feeling totally betrayed, embarrassed, and violated yet again. I don’t have anything to say to you.” She shook her head, and from the glisten in her eyes I could tell she was close to tears.
“Well, I’ve got a lot to say to you. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about anything. And how exactly did I violate you?” I didn’t like being painted as some kind of pervert. That was Lockwood’s domain. I’d never forced her into any of our chats. Okay, so she didn’t know who I was, but now that she did, surely she could see I wasn’t all bad?
“You broke into my house, Brandon. You watched me from my garden and stalked me online. Fuck. I don’t even want to think about what I said to you.”
All true and I’d own it.
“I don’t regret any of it.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.” She huffed and then peered up at me, and I could tell from her face she wanted to hurt me with the next words out of her mouth. “You’d have to have a conscience to feel remorse. You don’t have that. You’re soulless.”
I couldn’t argue with that. A few months ago, I’d have told them to dig a hole for me next to her brother, because I was as dead inside as he was. But that was then. Now, I’d had a spark ignited inside me and a fire burned just for her. Only a fool would walk away from something like this and I was no fool.
“Maybe I was soulless back then. But since I met you, I haven’t felt the darkness dragging me under quite as much as it used to. Since I got to know you, life’s been… interesting.”
I felt proud of that speech. I’d really put myself out there. But when she grimaced at me, I realised it still wasn’t enough.
“You don’t know me, Brandon. You’ve watched me and we’ve had a few random conversations online.”
I couldn’t understand her. How could she say I didn’t know her when we’d shared parts of ourselves in that chatroom? I’d seen her at her worst, and I was still fighting for her. I’d fought for her more than any of her friends had. What else did she want from me?
“You know more about me than anyone else in my life right now,” I told her. I felt so confused. I didn’t know what else to say to make this right.
Her eyes drifted to my stomach, where the scars were now well hidden by my tattoos.
“You tricked me.”
“I tried to save you.”
“You were the one who broke me.” She fisted her hands in her hair and gave a little growl. “You broke me, Brandon. I’m this fucked up mess because of you.”
“Was it all me though? I mean fuck, Harper. In all this, doesn’t Brodie get to take some of the responsibility too? Did I force him into that ring? Shit. It was an accident, okay? I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t want any of this.”
She clenched her eyes shut and took a deep breath.
“I don’t even know what I think anymore. I can’t remember the night that well. It’s all just a blur; a series of snapshots of the horror that’s my life now. But you don’t get to tell me how to feel about any of it.” She stabbed her chest as she talked, and I could see that the defiant little warrior was back.