“Come on then, big man. Give it to us,” she said.
I took a sip of my coffee and then hung my head as I let it all spill out. I told them about watching Harper, the flowers, the messages. I told them everything; the online persona I’d used to get closer to her and how I’d followed her to Lockwood’s house. I didn’t want to look up and see the pity in their eyes, so I kept my focus on my coffee and gave them every last sordid detail of what had happened after I ran Lockwood off. I told them what Harper had said and how I didn’t know what I should do next but staying away was not an option for me. I wasn’t a quitter.
“It isn’t about being a quitter,” Emily chipped in. “Giving her space isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
“Mate, I told you she was off fucking limits.” Ryan rested his elbows on the table and scrubbed his hands over his face, sighing. “Why did you do that? Don’t you think she’s been through enough? Just leave her the fuck alone.”
“I couldn’t! I can’t!” I argued back. “I needed to make it right.”
“You can’t make it right. It’ll never be right,” Ryan shouted, but Emily reached out and rubbed his arm to calm him down. At that moment, I was ready to stand up and walk out. I didn’t like the answers he was giving me. He wasn’t seeing things the way I was.
“You made it right with Emily,” I argued. “And look what we did to her dad.”
“He was a crook and he deserved to go down for what he did. And yes, Brodie was a bully growing up. But everything that’s happened since, that’s something you’ve got to walk away from.”
“Not gonna happen.” I could feel my temper rising again.
He went to speak, but Emily butted in.
“Could you give me and Brandon five minutes alone?”
Ryan’s eyes widened and he stuttered over his response.
“Why?”
“Because I want to talk to him. Do I need to say anything more than that?” She gave him a look and he grimaced and then stood up.
“Fine. I’ll be in the next room if you need me.” He kissed the top of her head and gave me a threatening glare in warning. I glared back. Did he really think I was still a threat?
Emily watched him leave, and once the kitchen door closed, she turned to me and sighed.
“First off, I need to give you an apology,” she said, and I frowned at her. “The way I spoke to you that night, what I said, it was mean and unkind. I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken your feelings into account and I didn’t.”
I suddenly felt embarrassed that she was bringing this up again. The fact that I’d told my best friend’s girlfriend I loved her all those months ago made me want to kick my own ass. What kind of friend does that?
“You had a lot going on that night. I can see that now.” This wasn’t what I’d expected her to talk about, and I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was dredging it all back up.
“I know. I think my head was so screwed up that I forgot my manners. I didn’t mean the things I said.”
“I’m sure you meant some of them.” I smirked.
“You’re a good guy, Brandon. You deserve to hear that. You’re a little intense sometimes, but that’s just you. It’s who you are. If I ever made you feel worthless, then I’m truly sorry.” And she was. I could see it in her eyes.
“Em, I should say sorry too. I messed up with us. I said shit about Ry too to try and break you up. It was all so fucked up that night. He’s always loved you. I loved you too, but now-”
“But now, you realise you aren’t in love with me, and there’s a big difference. I think if you’re really honest with yourself, you were in love with the idea of me. But I was never the right girl for you. And I think you know that because you’ve met the one now, haven’t you?”
I nodded and stayed quiet.
“Brandon?” She reached over and put her hand over mine. “I’m saying this from a place of love, so please don’t go off on one, but you do act like a bull in a china shop over most things. You have the kind of intensity that can sometimes be intimidating. You never take no for an answer. You’re head strong to the point of insanity, and you’ve always done whatever the hell you want. And that’s been fine, for now. Most of us didn’t call you out on it, and those that did, you just shot them down.”
I laughed at her honesty.
“What happened to the apology I just had? Feels like you’re pissing all over that now, Winters.”
She couldn’t hold back her own chuckle. “I like that you’re calling me Winters again. Kinda feels like old times.”
We both smiled, and I decided to do what Harper had told me I never do; I listened.