I fired a text off to Emily to let her know I was safe. Then I crept through the house, hoping I didn’t wake Mum and Dad, and headed to my room. When I closed the door, I flopped down onto my bed, hoping sleep would take hold and quieten the voices in my head. Voices that I found unsettling, because I didn’t fully understand the emotions they were creating inside me.
Emily text back moments later and told me she’d ring me tomorrow. I didn’t answer. I didn’t feel like engaging anymore with the outside world. I couldn’t
comprehend myself or my feelings at the moment, so I didn’t want to burden anyone else.
What was this guy doing to me?
He’d smashed into my world like a wrecking ball, but the reverberations of his hits just kept on coming. What had started out as destruction all those months ago had turned into something else entirely. He’d forced his way into my life, given no thought to my sanity, and yet, after everything, he was making me feel. Okay, most days it was angry, hurt, and pissed off. But tonight, I’d felt fear, worry, concern. I thought those kind of emotions were dead to me. I thought caring about another human was something I’d struggle to do after having my heart broken. But I guess that’s where I was wrong. I wasn’t the shell of a woman I thought I was. I still had empathy and the ability to show compassion. The fact that I’d shown it to Brandon tonight was a big fucking deal for me.
He’d seen me in the crowd. I’d distracted him and he’d almost got injured because of me. How did it make him feel when he saw me? Did the memories suffocate him? Or was it something else?
I couldn’t stop myself from climbing off the bed and going to my laptop. In all my confusion, one clear thought kept pushing itself to the forefront of my mind. I needed to reach out to him. Even if it was just to make sure he really was okay.
LadyStoneheart23 has joined the chat.
EmoGirl- I did think about going, but I don’t think they’re ready for me yet.
JoeNotExotic- She’s your sister. You could both be missing out on a fab friendship there. You never know, Emo.
EmoGirl- Half sister. And I don’t even know if she wants to speak to me. Mum told me to leave it, but I can’t. Maybe I should send her an email? I found her email address on Facebook.
JoeNotExotic- But you have her real address. It’s always better to meet face-to-face.
EmoGirl- Is it? It wasn’t the best meeting the last time I was in a room with her.
JoeNotExotic- She didn’t know who you were then.
EmoGirl- Hey, Lady. You’re up late. You okay?
LadyStoneheart23- Yeah, I’m good. I think I turned a corner recently.
Legion has joined the chat.
My heart jumped and my hands started to shake.
EmoGirl- That’s always a good thing. Sounds like you’ve made a few breakthroughs then, Lady.
LadyStoneheart23- I had a little help along the way.
Legion- You don’t need anyone’s help, little warrior. All your goals are yours to celebrate.
JoeNotExotic- True, Legion. Very true.
I swallowed my pride and opened up a private chat with him. It was the first time I’d ever private messaged anyone on here without getting a message through first. I really was starting to walk a different path.
LadyStoneheart23- Are you okay?
I clicked send then cursed myself when I reread my message. It sounded so lame. Like I was a parent checking in on him. Guess he’d never had that though, growing up.
Legion- Never worry about me, little warrior. I’m big enough and ugly enough to take care of myself. But the next time you want to leave like that, tell one of us. I don’t like to think of you getting into a taxi on your own.
After taking a beating and winning a fight like that he was online chatting to me and stressing over my ride home.
LadyStoneheart23- I can take care of myself.
Legion- You shouldn’t have to.
I didn’t know what to type back in response.