“But are you? Really? The world Pat lives in and the one we created are two completely different things.”
“He told me it wouldn’t affect our business,” I argued, feeling my shoulders tense up as I folded my arms.
“And you believed him? You really think he’ll invest time and money into you to sit back and watch you piss it all down the drain by fighting some chancer from a council estate?”
“I don’t lose.”
Ryan was skating on thin ice now.
“You might lose her if you carry on being an asshole about this.” Ryan gave a low, frustrated sigh. “I’ll say one thing though, life is never boring with you around.”
Emily chose that exact moment to walk in, and the tense atmosphere became slightly more bearable.
“Boring is not a word I’d use to describe Brandon,” she said, after hearing only half of what Ryan had said.
“It’s all fun and games with me around, Winters.” I gave her a wink and sat my ass down. With Emily, I could spin the conversation towards something else which was bugging me.
“Hey, Em. You’re a chick.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes at me. “Yep. Last time I looked I was a… chick. Although we prefer other terms, like girl, woman, female-”
“Yeah, whatever.” I rubbed my hands together, trying to think how best to word this. “What sort of things should I do if I wanted to be… I dunno… romantic and shit?”
“Romantic and shit?” She shook her head, looking at me like I’d spoken a foreign language.
“I wanna do something nice. You’re a girl. You know what girls like.”
“I’m assuming this is for Harper?”
My face grew hot hearing her name. Emily glanced at Ryan and then smiled, cuddling into his side.
“Flowers are always lovely. Ryan bought me peonies on one of our first… times together.” She started blushing.
“Errr, no. Flowers are a definite no.” I tensed, remembering the last bunch of flowers I sent to Harper. I think I’d well and truly pissed all over the flower giving where she was concerned. “And what the hell is a peony?” I added, frowning. “Dude, you need to take control of your balls from time to time. She’s turning you into a pussy.”
“I am not!” She snapped then huffed and wrapped her arms around Ryan as she rubbed against him like a little kitten. “What about a picnic? Ryan had Connor make up a picnic basket for us on our first date. We didn’t eat much of it, but it was really romantic. I bet if you asked Connor, he’d do one for you.”
“Do I look like a picnic kind of guy to you?”
“Do I?” Ryan answered, challenging me. “On second thoughts, don’t answer that.”
Emily sighed, rubbing her hand over Ryan’s stomach, and I could tell I probably had about three minutes left before he kicked me out.
“Ryan buys me chocolates. Last week, when it was my time of the month-”
I held my hand up. “Yeah, I think that’s a bit too much information, Em.” I said, grimacing.
“What? It was sweet. I was in pain and he did something thoughtful. He’s always thoughtful.” She peered up at him, and from the heated stare he gave her, I knew the minutes counting down my departure were now seconds.
“Chocolate. Great. I’ll do that,” I said, standing up to leave. Neither one of them made any effort to get up or see me to the door, and when Ryan threaded his hand into the back of her hair and pulled her to him for a kiss, I knew my time was up. “I’ll see myself out,” I shouted as I banged the door closed. But once I was stood outside, I smiled.
I wanted that.
To be so consumed by another person and for them to be totally and utterly lost in me, that the rest of the world just falls away.
I wanted that with her.
So maybe I needed to start taking other people’s advice. I needed to tell her about Pat, and I had to make the effort to be what she needed me to be. I had to try harder.