This was one of the many differences between them. His directness.
Most of the people she knew—herself included—fudged things, and in the past she’d always admired Farlan’s ability to go straight to the point.
Not right now, though.
‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ she said.
She felt his gaze on her face.
‘Really? So that’s an everyday occurrence for you, is it?’
An everyday occurrence? Hardly.
Even now the memory of his lips on hers made her feel as if her skin was on fire. The last time she had kissed a man had been over a year ago, and it had borne no resemblance to what had happened with Farlan in the library.
She felt a prickle of guilt.
Andrew was quiet, and a little old-fashioned, but he was also sweet and generous. And sensitive. They could have had sex. She was on the pill to help manage her hormone-related migraines, and part of her had wanted to sleep with him—the same part that had wished she could fall in love with him.
But it hadn’t felt right.
So she had told Andrew she wasn’t ready and he had said he was happy to wait. Not once had he put pressure on her or badgered her for an explanation.
She frowned. What would she have said if he had?
Seven years was a long time not to get over someone.
Most people—her parents, for example—would think it was melodramatic and self-indulgent to hold on to pain for that long, to let the absence of something—someone—put a grey filter over the rest of your life. But that was what it felt like to have loved and lost Farlan.
Not that she was about to tell him that.
Ignoring his question, she bumped over a snow-covered cattle grid.
‘It shouldn’t have happened.’
‘And yet it did,’ he pressed. ‘You kissed me, and I kissed you back. In the library at Lamington Hall. What would the Earl and Countess of Brechin say?’
On the surface his tone was mild, as if he were just enjoying a pleasant conversation. But she heard the taunt in his voice, and the hurt pride.
‘Where are they, by the way?’ he asked.
‘They’re staying with my aunt and uncle in Dubai. My father needs a warmer climate for his chest.’
She parroted the ‘official’ explanation for her parents’ decision to leave their home. The one that would allow them to hold their heads up high.
‘Why didn’t you go with them?’
‘Lamington isn’t just where I live,’ she said quickly. ‘I run the estate.’
That wasn’t the only reason. Seeing her aunt and uncle would have been just too painful. But she couldn’t explain why to Farlan—especially not to Farlan.
‘Couldn’t you get in a temporary manager?’
‘That would just mean even more disruption for everyone.’ She stared through the windscreen, over-concentrating on the road. ‘Besides, I don’t like the heat.’
‘I wouldn’t say that was true…’
Her mouth was suddenly dry, and she felt her belly clench. She wanted him, but she was fighting the attraction.