Her throat was so tight it hurt to swallow, to speak. ‘Why didn’t you move back in with your dad?’
His eyes met hers and he smiled stiffly. ‘He said there wasn’t room for me, so I just stayed living in the caravan. On my own.’
She couldn’t look away. Her heart felt as though it would burst. How could anyone do that to their child?
‘How long were you there?’ she whispered.
‘About four months, and then Cam called. When he found out I was on my own he got in touch with my grandparents.’
Surely that must have been the happy ending he’d deserved—except his shoulders were still tense.
‘They weren’t bad people,’ he said, in answer to her unasked question. ‘They fed me and clothed me. They did their duty right up until I was sixteen. But when they sold the farm it was clear they weren’t expecting me to go with them.’
He’d been alone and homeless at sixteen.
Six years later they had met.
It had never occurred to her that his autonomy was a result of neglect and abandonment.
She had been so in awe of him. To her, he had seemed beautiful and untamed.
Now, though, she could see that he had been not wild, but lost.
A lost boy without a mother or father.
No wonder he found it so hard to talk about his family. It was a miracle he even understood the meaning of the word.
He was staring away from her, but she didn’t need to see his face. She could feel everything.
Unbuckling her seatbelt, she slid over and wrapped her arms around him. Her cheeks were wet—with her tears and his.
‘I don’t know what I did wrong…’ he said.
‘You did nothing wrong.’ Eyes stinging, she lifted her face to his, her love for him exploding inside her. ‘You were a child.’
‘Not a very easy one.’ He shook his head. ‘Whatever anyone said or did, I needed proof. I was always pushing back, pushing them away to see if they meant it.’ His eyes found hers. ‘I did it with Tom and Diane, just like I did it with you. When I first met them I thought they’d get sick of having me around, like everyone else had. I didn’t want to believe they were different, so I made it as hard as I could for them.’
The pain in his voice knocked the air out of her body. ‘I know. But you don’t have to push back any more. Tom and Diane aren’t going anywhere, and neither am I.’
He stared at her. ‘You are an incredible woman, Nia, and I’m so sorry. For everything.’
Clasping his face, she stroked his cheeks gently. ‘Everything?’
His mouth curved upwards—not quite a smile, but she hadn’t lost him.
Outside the sky had split in two and a rainbow was arching across the water.
‘No, definitely not for everything.’ He kissed her softly on the mouth. ‘Let’s go home.’ His face creased. ‘But first I better give Rosie at the Picture Palace a call…apologise for leaving without saying goodbye properly.’
They didn’t talk much on the way back to Lamington. Farlan never spoke much when he was driving, and she was lost in her thoughts.
His story had shocked her. But she understood now why he had been so unforgiving, so absolute, seven years ago. She could make sense of the anger that had always been there beneath the surface.
It was an anger that stemmed from a not unreasonable fear of rejection.
So why hadn’t she told him that she loved him?
‘Yours or mine?’ he asked.