This Cruel Love

He raised his eyebrows at me, as if he expected me to agree and walk out the door.

“But I love him. I can’t just walk away. I’m all he’s got.”

I wasn’t a quitter. I wouldn’t leave just because the going got a bit tough. No, I was a fighter and I didn’t care what it’d take. I’d fight to get Justin through this.

“He’s a very lucky guy, having someone like you by his side. I hope he knows that,” the younger man piped up.

Lord, these men must’ve thought I was the biggest doormat ever, picking up the pieces like I was.

“What should I do tonight? How can I help him?” I pleaded.

“Just stay by his side. Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit. If he gets worse, feel free to call us back, but he shouldn’t. For now, it’s just a waiting game. He needs time to come round.”

My inner strength was building, but my heart was breaking.

I spent my night watching Justin like a hawk, ready to jump into action should he need me. He barely moved, let alone registered where he was or that I was there. By morning, I was growing restless. I had a plan forming in my mind. A plan to deal with the debt and the addiction, but I needed to do some negotiating of my own. It was time to take matters into my own hands.

I rang Liam, one of Justin’s best friends from high school, and asked him if he’d pop over to the apartment as soon as he could. He answered the phone with his usual flirty banter, but when I mentioned that Justin needed his help he changed instantly, and was reluctant to come. I soon talked him round, and within the hour he was on our doorstep, giving me puppy dog eyes, and telling me I deserved better than the waster that was his best friend.

“I haven’t called you round here to discuss my relationship, Liam. I just need you to stay here and watch Justin.”

I knew as soon as I’d said it that it sounded ridiculous, as if I was asking him to watch a dog or a baby.

“Why the fuck does the stoner need watching? Can’t he cope without you, Ryles?”

I hated when he called me Ryles, but I overlooked it this time, as I was desperate for a favour from him.

“No. He had a bit too much stuff last night and I had to call an ambulance. Look, say no if it’s really too much trouble for you to help your oldest friend. I just need to make sure he doesn’t relapse, or become ill whilst I’m running an errand. A very important errand that just can’t wait.”

Liam grimaced, as if I’d insinuated I was off to do some kind of girlie errand that he didn’t want to know about. Then shrugging, he agreed to stay at the apartment until I got back. I wasn’t overly enthusiastic with my thanks. If he’d been a better friend when I’d been away, Justin wouldn’t have been in the mess he was in now.

I hadn’t expected to find myself in this building ever again. Well, not on my own, at least. But hell, here I was braving the devil’s lair for a second time this week, and feeling a hell of a lot less cocky than last time. Zero thought had gone into my outfit. No stripper chic for me today, just plain old Ryley. With my tumbling, blonde curls down my back and a pastel green strappy summer dress that swung playfully around my knees, showing off my tanned shoulders. Flip-flops with yellow roses threaded around my toes finished off my rapidly thrown together outfit. What I looked like had been the last thing on my mind when I got ready for this meeting. Part of me didn’t want to appear sexy or suggestive to Mr Caine. What I was hoping to achieve was to be as unenticing to him as possible and still get what I wanted. I didn’t want to muddy the waters by giving any indication that I was there other than to talk business.

I was armed with a better plan of action today. I just hoped and prayed that Mr Caine showed some degree of humility, and could meet me halfway. I’d exhausted every avenue in my thought processes, and what I’d decided at 5.30 that morning was, I considered, a good compromise for all involved.

As I made my way down the corridor, flanked by two new burly meat-heads, the door I had my gaze fixed upon opened up. Out sauntered Cillian James, looking every inch the cocky bastard he no doubt was. When he saw me, his eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw fell open, then he cackled with laughter.

“Jax, my man, you’re not gonna want to miss this,” he said, with an evil grin curling up on one side of his face.

Jackson Caine came to the door and followed Cillian James’s stare to where I was standing. The look of shock that passed over his face was quickly followed by an evil smirk, and then… was that admiration of some kind?

The pair of them stood there gawping at me as I walked towards them, looking like gatekeepers to the depths of hell. Probably a hell most women would want to dive into head first if these two were part of it, but all the same, what they stood for made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Remember Ryley, a beautiful face doesn’t equate to a beautiful soul, I told myself as I came to a halt in front of these two Adonises and took a deep, calming breath in. They were both formidable men, but Jackson Caine stood a few inches taller than Cillian James, and appeared more guarded, scarier.

“Miss Emerson. I wasn’t expecting to see you here anytime soon. Miss me?” Jackson Caine was trying to look confident and cool in front of his friend. It wouldn’t last.

“Are you always this smug, or are you making a special effort today, just for me?” Uh oh, sassy Ryley was coming out to play, and this didn’t bode well for my ability to negotiate.

Cillian threw his head back, laughing, as Jackson scowled over at me.

“I like her!” he said, pointing at me and raising his eyebrows at Jackson. “She’s gonna be good for you.”

“About as good as a dose of syphilis,” Jackson retorted, trying to meet my sass with his own.

“Well, at least you’ll have an excuse for all the shit that spouts out of your mouth.” I met his insult and batted my own straight back to him; he wasn’t impressed.

Cillian thought it was highly entertaining, judging from the way he stepped to the side to view us, folding his arms and waiting expectantly for Jackson’s response.

“Sweetheart.” Jackson smiled to himself, obviously feeling pleased with the response he’d formed in his evil, little brain. “It truly is endearing how hard you’re trying to hurt my feelings, but trust me when I say not a single bit of my self-esteem is tied up in your acceptance.”