This Cruel Love

“Probably. But at least no one will ever fuck me over again.”

“Jesus. Whoever did it the first time did a real number on you.”

“Didn’t they just.”

“So, did you get her number? You know, for later.”

The fire came back into his eyes and he grabbed my chin in his hand, tilting my head up to look directly at him. His breath fanned my face, his full lips inches from mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was about to kiss me. My stomach rolled over with nerves, and I held my breath waiting to see what he would do next.

“I already told you. I don’t do hook-ups.” His breathing was becoming shallow, and I could see waves of mixed emotions flashing in his grey eyes. Anger, intimidation, violence, manipulation and was that… lust?

I moved my head back to break the physical contact and stop the electric shocks his fingers were sparking into me. The intensity I felt from this staring game of his was seriously fraying my nerves, and cracking my usual steadfast resolve.

“You could’ve fooled me.”

I wanted to challenge him. Call him out on his behaviour, because I felt so utterly confused. He was a walking, talking contradiction. One minute he was a man-whore, with women begging to get into his bed, the next he was all aloof and untouchable. A man who doesn’t do hook ups.

“So, in your world, it’s okay to throw red wine over a guy in public?” he spat back.

I was relieved to change the direction of this argument. Thoughts of man-whoring, Jackson Caine, and sex was pouring into my brain against my will. I missed my boyfriend, and thinking about another man like that was wrong on way too many levels. So instead, I focused on Jackson’s face when I bathed him in red wine, and I couldn’t stop myself from smirking.

“No. But if you’d bothered to ask anyone who knows me, you’d know I don’t follow their rules.”

His shoulders relaxed somewhat and he put his hands back into his pockets as he sighed. “You don’t follow anyone’s rules.”

Was he holding back a smirk of his own?

“I did what any woman in my shoes would’ve done. I’d have done the same thing if it was Justin all over someone else. At least people won’t question whether we were actually in a relationship after tonight. They know cheating is a hard limit for me. I reacted naturally.”

He bit his lip in thought. “It may surprise you to hear this, Ryley, but cheating is a hard limit for me too. And I don’t have many hard limits, sweetheart.”

“I bet you don’t.”

He cocked his eyebrow at my flirty response. Was it a flirty response? I didn’t know. I was getting all kinds of confused by this exchange. The devil had a sneaky way of creeping into my thoughts against my better judgement and throwing me off my game.

“Let me tell you a little bit about my world, Ryley. You see, in my world, things aren’t as sweet and innocent as they are in yours. You can never second guess a man’s intentions. And when it comes to a woman like you? Well, we protect what’s ours.”

I scoffed at his ridiculous statement. “A woman like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You make women sound weak, like property you own.”

Why did he always have to look at me like he was reading my very soul? I found his direct eye contact beyond distracting and unnerving.

“No, Ryley. Anyone can be weak. I know weak men. I know strong women. What I’m trying to tell you is my world is violent, destructive, and a place where you have to watch your back, always. The next friend of mine who asks you to dance may not be so friendly, and Mason fucking Lovall is the last guy you should be inviting to dance with you.”

“I didn’t invite him!” I protested.

“You trust too easily, Ryley. That’s not always a good thing. Are you aware that a club across town was being used as a front for a sex trafficking ring recently? A very close friend of mine almost lost his woman to that gang. You’d have stood no chance.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence!”

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He hunched down to my level again, his face directly in front of mine, eyes burning with fire. “Tonight, I showed you how much you can trust people. You can’t. Turn your back and you get stabbed right in it.”

“Yeah, by you. Listen, I get it, you’re a guy and you don’t want to be a monk for these next three months, but at least be discreet about your arrangements. You don’t have to shove it in everyone’s face like that.”

“Now who’s the one missing the point? I had zero interest in that woman. I did what I did so I wouldn’t look like a complete loser stood at the bar on my own.”

“And yet you managed to make yourself look like the biggest sleazebag to ever walk this earth.”