This Cruel Love

Cillian gave a knowing smile. “He’s just old-fashioned sometimes.”

That was the understatement of the century.

“He hates women!”

“He doesn’t hate women.” Cillian sighed. “He just doesn’t understand them all that well. I don’t think the same rules apply where you

’re concerned though, Ryley. You’re different. Special.”

“I have no idea why you’d think that. I’m not different or special. He speaks to me like I’m the bane of his life. To be honest, I’m kinda trying to be. I like winding him up.”

“Don’t we all.” He winked and leant against the counter, casually crossing his ankles over and studying me like I was an exotic creature. “Listen, he’s not the world’s best communicator, but he tries.”

I shut the washer off and wiped the sheen of sweat sprinkled over my forehead.

“Oh, yeah, he’s very trying. I just heard him outside talking to Ed. He’s a treasure too, isn’t he?”

Cillian frowned and his aura changed from playful to nervous and tense. “Ed was here? In the club?”

“Yeah. I heard Jackson tell him to leave.”

“Good.” He narrowed his gaze at me and sighed. “You know I think it’d be better if you leave too. He’s gonna be pissed about Ed showing up. It won’t help if he sees you grafting your pretty ass off in here.”

“Why would it bother him? He’s paying for my services after all.”

“You already know this isn’t what he meant.” He gestured towards the pile of dirty plates and cutlery which was next on my to-do list of jobs. “He won’t want people thinking you’re his woman and you’re being put to work like this.”

“Oh my God, are you telling me I’m expected to be the little woman sat at home all day?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. There’s just… expectations. Leave it to me. I’ll talk to him. See if we can sort something out for you to do. Give you that purpose you need.” Cillian winked.

“Don’t do me any favours. I could just as easily go and work for my dad. I just thought this might help pay off our debts.”

“Ryley, the debt’s forgotten about already. Just try to loosen up a bit. Enjoy a few nights out, and then in three months’ time you’ll have a shiny new life to go back to.”

Yeah, like it was that easy.

“None of this is enjoyable for me, you know. I’m used to a long distance relationship, but I haven’t spoken to Justin for days. I’m lonely and I’m bored.”

Cillian folded his arms and frowned. “Talk to Jackson. Maybe he’ll let you visit the rat.”

“Don’t call him that.” I tried to be angry with Cillian, but his cheeky face meant I couldn’t muster up the anger I’d previously felt at that God-awful nickname.

“I’m sorry, Ryley. You know, for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

“Why do you even care? I’m no one to you. To either of you.”

Cillian leant down to whisper low into my ear, even though we were alone and no one could hear what he had to say.

“It may surprise you to hear this, but I do care. I like you. You’re a good girl. I want to see someone do right by you. Whoever that someone may be.” He gave me a delicate little kiss on my cheek that totally threw me and knocked me off my game.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a survivor,” I said. I was struggling to breathe right now.

“I know. But you shouldn’t have to be.”

I decided it probably was a good idea to avoid Jackson and leave. Cillian tried to offer me a lift back to the apartment, but I refused, preferring to call a cab like Dennis had suggested.

Once I got back, I sat down in a daze and watched the rest of the box set on Netflix, but I didn’t have a clue what I’d watched. Every minute I spent in this kaleidoscope of Jackson’s world was messing with my brain. Everything I thought I knew was becoming warped and I felt uneasy. I needed to see Justin. I needed grounding.