This Cruel Love

“Jackson, you’re not my boyfriend. What I do and where I go is of no concern to you. You aren’t responsible for me, and you don’t need to know everything.”

“You’re living under my roof, so that makes me responsible whether you like it or not.”

Yep, definitely heading into father territory here.

“No, it doesn’t. All you need to know is I’m with my friends, I’m out of your hair for the night, and I won’t need you. Okay? Now go do your mafia princess bodyguard gig for the night and leave me to enjoy mine.”

He grunted at my response and stalked out of the apartment, taking the air of awkwardness with him. I sincerely hoped that my night would improve from herein, but my gut told me something big was gonna happen. I didn’t know what, but I had a good instinct for these things. I just prayed it was big good and not something I’d regret in the morning.

Hell, I’d missed my girls, my tribe. Each one of them was awesome in their own way. Daisy was my best friend, a petite brunette angel of goodness and kindness. She always had my back and I could tell her anything. Well, almost anything. I knew she’d be the first one I’d confide in about Justin and Jackson when the time was right. Lisa and Maddie were a little crazier, but both had a quirky sense of style and a wicked sense of humour. Being around those two would brighten up anyone’s day. Mind you, they’d have their work cut out getting someone like Jackson to crack a smile. Oh, God. Why was I thinking about him? What was the matter with me? Tonight was all about forgetting my current predicament, letting go, and living in the moment. He’d never meet my friends, not if I had anything to do with it. So why was thinking about their reaction to him bothering me?

I pushed the images of Jackson Caine, in his perfect suit, with his perfect face and his superbly honed muscles to the back of my mind. Then I locked up the memories of my broken, beautiful fiancé, with his sallow skin and lifeless eyes, into a box for safe-keeping. Finally, I vowed to put my party head on and enjoy every minute of being with my favourite ladies in the whole wide world. Tomorrow, I could stress over the men in my life. Tonight, it was all about the girls.

We started off in our favourite wine bar, sipping Bellinis and catching up on our news before the alcohol overtook our brains and the conve

rsation turned to random outbursts of love for each other, as it did most nights we were out together. It didn’t take long for the subject of Justin to crop up though.

“Where’s lover boy tonight?” Lisa sipped through her straw, cleverly hiding her expression after asking me the million dollar question.

“He’s away at the moment.”

“Away where?” Daisy asked, looking concerned.

“Just visiting relatives.”

“What, he couldn’t take you with him? Doesn’t that strike you as weird? I mean, do you really trust him?” Maddie wasn’t holding back tonight.

“Of course I trust him. He’s away, end of. Can we talk about something else, please?”

Lisa and Maddie exchanged awkward glances. I didn’t even want to know what that was all about. Daisy, ever the sweetheart, put her arm around me and told me how thrilled she was to have me back.

“I’ve missed you guys.” I beamed, hoping to inject some warmth back into our little gathering.

I held my glass up for them to chink with mine and we all gave a ‘cheers’ as we downed our cocktails.

“Enough of this tame shit, we need to get this party started.” Lisa nudged herself off her stool and headed for the bar. Next thing we knew, she was back with a tray of tequila, salt, and slices of lemon.

“You know I always take life with a pinch of salt. Plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.” She giggled as she passed the glasses around.

I already felt a bit dizzy, but I couldn’t turn down a shot. To hell with it, I’d have to sneak in a glass of water between each round to try and sober me up for the morning. But I wasn’t gonna let my first girls’ night out in months go by without sharing in the drinking fun. Damn, I was such a lightweight though. I always swore I’d be sensible, but once I got with these three girls, all reason flew right out the window.

Five tequila shots later and we were weaving our way down the street, our arms linked together, and singing Drake at the top of our lungs. So much for my plans to be the sober one tonight.

“Mads, tell Rye about that date you had with Tom last week. Rye, you need to listen to this, Tom is such a loser.” Lisa could barely stand up and was using the rest of us to stay upright.

“Lise, you’re an asshole. Don’t listen to her, Rye, she’s just jealous ‘cos Tom’s packing a hell of a lot more than you’d expect, if you know what I mean.”

“Eww, Maddie. We don’t need to know about his package.” Daisy screwed up her face in disgust.

“Speak for yourself. I haven’t seen my man all week, so I’ll happily hear your stories about his package.” I laughed, leaning forward to see Maddie give a smug grin.

In all the time we’d been singing and slurring our words, I hadn’t paid much attention to where our feet were leading us. It was only when we turned the corner to stand opposite Jackson’s club that I stopped still and planted my feet firmly on the ground, as if they were glued to the pavement.

“What’s the hold up?” Lisa slurred as she tried to yank me forward to join the queue of people lined up down the street, shivering and begrudgingly waiting their turn to get in.

“I’m not going in there.”

I pulled backwards, trying to get the girls to come back down the road with me and find another club to finish our night at.