This Cruel Love

“He is my son. He will always be my son. I love him.”

I nodded. Who was I to come bulldozing my way into this family and tear it the fuck apart? I wasn’t like my father, I knew that family wasn’t always from blood. Family was the people around you who loved you for who you were, no matter where you lived or what you owned. Like Sylvie and Len were family to me. I couldn’t destroy that for them.

“I don’t want her to find out. She’s been through enough. I never want her to find out. No good can ever come from knowing the truth, not for any of us. Sometimes, some things are best left buried. As far as I’m concerned he’s your son, Travis and Ryley’s brother. Maybe one day he’ll be mine too, but not because I rip his fucking heart out and trample all over his childhood. No. Because I’m with his sister, so I get to be his brother by default… if you know what I mean.”

I felt awkward talking like this in front of Ryley’s parents, but who was I kidding? She was mine, she’d always be mine. So her family would become mine as well.

“You’re a good man, Jackson. Thank you.” Harry blew out a sigh of relief and stood from behind his desk, holding out his hand for me to shake.

I couldn’t believe the turn of events after the ordeal we’d been through yesterday. It amazed me how a bit of honesty and openness could alter things so dramatically.

“Don’t worry about Travis, he’ll come round soon enough. But, Jackson? Can we draw a line under all this revenge and retribution now?”

I’d already buried it the day I fell in love with his daughter, but for his sake, I made it official. “You have my word.”

I stood up to leave but Nina grabbed my arm. “Wait, I have something you might be interested in.”

I sat back down as she shuffled off to the corner of the room and pulled open a cupboard, rifling frantically through the contents.

“Here it is.” She lifted out a leather-bound book, a photo album from the look of it, and made her way back over to me. “There are some photos in here you might like to see. Photos of you, Travis, and Ryley growing up.”

I held my breath. I had no idea our childhood had been captured on film. I didn’t ever remember having my photograph taken, but then my memory of those years was hazy.

She opened the album to the first page and there was a picture of me as a boy. I couldn’t have been older than nine or ten. I was sitting on a sofa and a tiny baby was lying across my lap. I was holding its head, possibly stroking it, and I had my other arm wrapped around its little body.

“That was the day w

e brought Ryley home from the hospital,” she whispered into my ear.

I didn’t know what to think. Was it weird that I’d held her as a baby? Did that make me some kind of pervert or something?

“Of course not,” Nina laughed, and I realised I’d said my fears out loud. “You’ve always loved her. She’s always loved you too, look.”

Nina skipped over a few pages until she found another picture. This time I recognised Ryley straight away. She was about two or three years old and was sitting on my lap for the photo. She was dressed in pink dungarees, and her crazy blonde curls were tied up with a yellow ribbon. Her chubby fingers were holding mine, and she was looking up at me with the cutest, most heart-melting smile, as I looked back down at her like she was my world.

“We took that one on the day she fell out of the treehouse. Do you remember that day, Harry? Jeez, we must’ve broken every speed limit there was getting her to that hospital.”

“Scariest day of my life. Well, one of them,” Harry replied.

“I remember that day.” I ran my finger over the image, the feelings of wanting to protect her at all costs even back then trickling through me. “I hated myself for months after. I felt so guilty.”

“You were just a kid yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” Nina went bright red then chuckled to herself. “We always used to joke about you two getting married someday. You were inseparable. Everyone thought you were her brother, not Travis. You lit up whenever she was around, and she wasn’t happy until she’d sought you out. You came as a pair. See?” She patted my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Always meant to be.”

I tried to swallow, but my mouth had gone dry. I didn’t believe in fate or any of that destiny bullshit, but maybe Nina had a point. All the roads I’d taken, every path I’d chosen in life, they led me to her. Maybe they always would.

Nina closed the book and pushed it towards me. “Take it home, look through it together. There are some happy memories in there. Things weren’t always such a disaster, you know.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled something out, then handed it to Harry with a knowing look. He took a deep breath and asked me to stay behind for just a minute longer as Nina left us alone.

My stomach was in serious knots, thinking about what was going on down the hallway. I tried to listen out for any raised voices or crashing of furniture, but it was deadly silent. That wasn’t always a good sign. I was glad I had my youngest brother here to help take my mind off the impending storms I was sure were heading our way.

“Who’s the big man?” Nate jerked his chin to the window to indicate he’d seen Jackson and me coming up the driveway.

“The asshole, don’t you mean?” Trav piped up, so I shot him a death stare that could kill at thirty paces. I didn’t need him clouding Nate’s judgement of my… boyfriend? Was that the right word to use? Jackson was no boy, but I could hardly call him my man friend.

“That’s Jackson. He’s my boyfriend now.” I smiled, instantly feeling shy and embarrassed to say it out loud. Why? I have no freaking clue, but I just did.

“So things with you and Justin are definitely over then?”