Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland 3)

“I’m sorry I told my dad you hurt me.”

It was an apology, and each adult in the room smiled at her admission. He grinned and bristled with pride like he’d just been knighted by the queen. But I understood the meaning behind her apology. She wasn’t sorry for what she’d said, only that she’d said it to our dad. The truth still stood; he had hurt her. But she knew better than to trust an adult in this house to ever make it right.

What happened later that night cemented her regret even further. It was the last time she’d ever complain and put herself in the firing line.

The sound of the doorbell ringing pulled me out of my daydream, if you could call it that. Maybe nightmare was a more fitting description. Dreams were a welcome distraction from the horrors you faced in real life. Dreams were what’d kept Alice and I going during the darkest times. Dreams were all we had most days back then.

Dad glanced up from his place at the dining table, but carried on polishing his trophies. He had no intention of getting off his arse to answer it. His casual, flippant attitude bothered me and I pushed my way past him, eager to escape the tension, but I stopped when I heard my mum holler out that she’d get it. There was the usual muffled chatter after that and I thought nothing of it. Neighbours were always popping round to moan about something going on in this street. But then, Mum called out my name, and something told me this wasn’t going to be good.

Fuck.

All the lads knew I preferred not to meet them at my house.

Who else would take the chance of coming here and running the gauntlet of my family?

I dragged myself into the hallway and stopped dead when I saw who it was.

“Finn, why haven’t you introduced me to Effy before?” Mum beamed, looking between the two of us, but if she expected a cosy visit, she’d be sorely mistaken.

Effy stood there, fidgeting with the buttons on her pea-green coat and looking awkward, out of place, and totally stunning. Her bobbed brown hair was wind swept and her cheeks were flushed red from the cold outside. It only made her look more adorable, and I had the sudden urge to pull her away to somewhere more private, where I could warm her up and lose myself in the way she always made me feel. But I kept an impassive expression glued to my face, ignoring my mum’s question and coming straight to the point.

“What are you doing here?”

“That’s no way to welcome a guest!” my mum chastised, but I blanked her out.

Effy’s eyes widened slightly and I could see her hands were shaking, but she did a great job of righting herself. Despite what my brash greeting had evoked in her, she took a deep breath and replied, “I wanted to make sure you were okay. The others couldn’t tell me anything, so I thought I’d come and see for myself.”

“See,” my mum sneered. “Effy has manners. Unlike some people I could mention.”

I blocked my mother’s pointless contribution to the conversation completely. Like I gave a fuck what she thought. All I cared about was Effy, and it had been brave of her to come here today, I’d give her that. I wasn’t the warmest guy to be around. I knew I gave off negative vibes like a porcupine on acid, but she never seemed to give up, and deep down, I was glad. If we’d been in any other place, I’d have felt differently about being around her. But I didn’t like her being here. I felt embarrassed about her seeing parts of my life that I preferred to keep hidden. This house was no place for a girl like Effy.

“Well, as you can see, I’m fine.” I lifted my arms up as my mum clucked her tongue in annoyance. Then I dropped them by my sides like an idiot as we stood there gawping at each other. Mum cleared her throat and made some announcement about having to change the bed linen, but I didn’t acknowledge her. The less time Effy spent here under the scrutiny of my parents, the better. I needed to get her out, even though her presence calmed me.

“Don’t just stand there like a fool, invite the girl in for a cuppa,” my dad suddenly piped up from the doorway behind me, and I knew from the heat in my face that I was blushing.

“It’s okay, Mr Knowles. I can’t stop,” Effy replied, sounding disappointed with her answer. She spun round to open the front door and make her escape, and in that moment, the idea of her leaving made me jump into action. I couldn’t let her go like that. I’d been an arsehole and done nothing but show disdain that I really didn’t feel. Not for her, anyway.

My Effy.

The girl I spent every waking moment thinking about.

The girl who gave me a reason to smile, on the rare occasion that I did.

“I’ll walk you out,” I said as my legs sprang into action and I followed her out of the door. I closed it behind me, not wanting Mum or Dad to eavesdrop on anything I had to say.

“Thanks for coming over. I’m sorry I was a dick in there.” I thumbed towards the door behind me, not wanting to take my eyes off her for a second. The way her breathing came in short shallow pants, trying to calm herself, made my heart beat faster. Her eyes bored into mine, searching for something, anything to give her hope, and it made my body shake with nervous anticipation. She was so close, and the overwhelming urge to touch her was becoming unbearable to fight.

“You weren’t a dick, Finn. I get it. I caught you off-guard and you didn’t want me here.”

There is nobody on this God-forsaken planet that I want to spend my days with more than you, Effy. But if you really knew me, you’d run in the opposite direction faster than your legs could carry you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s just…” I sighed, not able to find the words to express how pointless it all was. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes, so I glanced back at the house, wishing we were anywhere but here.

“You didn’t want your parents to see me.” She thought she’d hit the bullseye, and yet, it was so much more than that. This house held secrets that I never wanted uncovered. It kept broken parts of me that no one would understand. I couldn’t make sense of it myself.

I shrugged, once again letting her come to her own conclusions.

“I didn’t want you to see my parents.”