Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland 3)

“When are you going to let me in?” she said with such sincerity, I wanted to take her in that instant and run away from this place forever. Make a new life with her where none of the bullshit could get to us. But I had unfinished business that needed taking care of first. Wrongs that needed righting.

“I will let you in. I promise. But first, I need to exorcise all of these demons living inside of me. I’m not good enough for you, Effy. Not yet, anyway.”

“You are a good guy, Finn. I hate that you think you’re not.”

“A good guy?” I huffed on a laugh and shook my head. “I’m trying to be. But I can be better. I want to be better, for you. Please. Just give me time.”

“Time.” She smiled sadly. “All I’ve given you is time. And I keep asking myself, will time ever be on our side? Will it ever work out for us?”

The way she looked at me, pleading with me to make this right made me step back into her and cup her face, holding it in my hands and softly running my thumbs over her cheeks to soothe her worries. There was never anyone else for me but her. There never would be.

“It will work out. I just need to get rid of the darkness inside me. Be the man you want me to be.”

“You already are the man I want you to be. I don’t want you to change.”

A tear that’d welled up in her eyes spilled over and trickled down to where my thumb caressed her. I wiped it away. I hated that she cried because of me.

“It isn’t about changing, Eff. I have issues, problems I need to deal with. I promise you, I’m almost there. I’m so close, I can almost taste it.”

I didn’t want to let her go, but she reluctantly pulled away and wiped the back of her hand over her eyes. Then she wrapped her arms around herself and I could see her try to stand taller. She had walls just like I did, only her walls were of my own doing.

“I don’t know what it is that’s got you feeling this way. I’m guessing you haven’t had the best home life, and you don’t have to tell me anything, but I hope you know, there is nothing from your past that could make me feel differently about you. Nothing.”

She smiled at me to let me know she was sincere and ripples of something eased my burning, tight chest. Whatever it was, I didn’t know. Love, maybe?

“I don’t deserve you.” I sighed.

“Yes, you do. We both deserve each other. We deserve happiness. The future and the here and now are what matter, Finn.”

“And that’s what I’m fighting for.”

It’s what I’m always fighting for.

“But you don’t have to fight alone. You have me.”

“Do I?” I asked hopefully.

“Yes.” She didn’t bat an eyelid when she responded. This girl would go to hell for me if I asked her to. She was my ride or die.

“Even after I’ve pushed you away?”

“In spite of you pushing me away. You push and I push back harder. That’s how we work.” She gave a low laugh to herself before grinning at me, and I grinned back.

“I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for, because when I come for you, Effy, there’ll be no stopping me.”

“And that’s what I’m counting on,” she whispered back and glanced down at the floor, a cute blush spreading over her already flushed cheeks.

I had to get my shit together. I couldn’t wait to make her mine any longer, not after that kiss. I just needed to make sure that when I did come for her, there would be nothing and nobody standing in our way. This was the real deal for me.

I headed home, feeling a glimmer of hope beginning to shine a light through the cracks of my pretty dismal life. Maybe guys like me did get the girl after all?

I hoped so.

I headed into my street and cursed the dim street lighting in this part of the town. Half the lights were broken or damaged but nobody cared enough to do anything about it. I decided then and there that I needed to find a new place to live. I’d bitched enough about my parents’ place, but I’d never done anything proactive to change i

t. If I was going to make things right in my life, one of the areas I had to start with was my home.

I opened the front door and felt the warm staleness waft over me as I stepped inside. Mum and Dad were talking loudly in the kitchen, and even though I wanted to head straight to my room to avoid them, I didn’t. I needed a drink.