Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland 3)

I couldn’t look at them any longer, I was shaking so badly. And suddenly, I felt stupid for being there watching, like I was some kind of creeper.

I started the van back up and sped out of the car park, not even looking in my rear-view mirror in case I saw something I really didn’t want to see. I thought my night couldn’t get any worse, but karma wasn’t done with me yet.

I drove way too fast back to Sandland and parked the van outside Zak’s place. When I shut the engine off, I noticed another message had come through. Sighing, feeling totally exhausted by this whole night, I grabbed my phone and opened it. Another message from the soldiers, only this one was a video link.

Fuck.

It started much the same as the last one, only this time, I had a closer view of my uncle strapped to the chair. A ring side seat to witness his misery, if you like. He looked bloody and beaten and had a rag in his mouth that he moaned and wailed through. A fist flew through the air and landed an almighty punch on his face, causing his head to rear back. It didn’t knock him out though. They’d need to hit a lot harder than that to put Tony out.

There was no talking on this video, no voice giving me instructions. This was my reward for a job well done, and that didn’t need commentary.

I watched frozen in a fear-induced daze as the camera shook a little then focused on Tony’s hands. The bolt cutters came into shot and I tensed and felt bile rise up in my throat as whoever was holding those cutters slid them over Tony’s fingers and then clamped down hard. The sound of crunching and screaming followed by men’s laughter filled the air around me, and they didn’t let up. They opened the cutters again and clamped back down. Once they’d finished with the left hand, they moved to the right, and I felt my head swim with nausea at having to watch this. But I couldn’t look away, and my sickness stemmed only from a basic human reaction. I felt no sympathy for my uncle. He deserved this and so much more.

“Won’t have much chance to fiddle with kiddies anymore, will you, now you’ve got no fucking fingers,” Adam Noble’s distinctive deep voice hissed.

“He won’t even be able to wank himself off,” Colton King said, cackling.

Meanwhile, my uncle thrashed in the chair as the stubs of his hands bled onto the floor. Then there was a clatter of metal, probably the bolt cutters hitting the concrete, and the video cut off.

I was shaking so badly I could barely hold my phone. I ran my hand over my face and tried to makes sense of it all. Was this really happening?

My phone buzzed one last time.

Level one completed. Congratulations.

Welcome to level two.

I figured there were two things I could do to deal with the black hole my head was currently stuck in. Stay at Zak’s and wallow in self-pity and self-loathing, listen to him lecture me about how to successfully pull women and try to block out the horror of that video that I couldn’t seem to shake from my memory. Or I could head out, talk to Effy, and sort out the mess that was my life. If anyone could chase away the dark clouds that the video had brought over me, it was her.

I hadn’t contacted her at all after seeing her leaving the cinema with Kian that night. And even though I checked my phone way too much for any sane person, she hadn’t contacted me either. My phone was officially dead, along with my sorry excuse for a heart. I supposed I should see the lack of contact as a positive, seeing as the messages I got these days usually brought bad news, but it only added to my anxiety. I wanted to see her. I needed to know if it was really over.

After a few more minutes of procrastinating, I gave in and headed out. Life wasn’t going to come knocking at my door anytime soon. Not the life I wanted for myself, anyway.

When I arrived in her street, I had an attack of nerves. Should I have rung her first? Maybe she wouldn’t want to see me after the last time? Would Kian be there? Was I walking straight into a rejection of my own making?

I tried to ignore the self-doubt plaguing my brain and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, until I was standing outside her door and there was nowhere else to go. I’d ignored my subconscious and let my body take control. The joys of switching to automatic pilot. But now, I was back in control and shaking like a leaf.

I pushed the doorbell and couldn’t help smiling despite my nerves when I heard her dog bark in response. Effy opened the door, crouching down slightly and holding her dog back by her collar to stop her escaping and darting for the road. Her mouth dropped open when she saw it was me, and she didn’t speak for a few seconds, making me swallow nervously, not sure what to say. But then her face lit up, her eyes shone and she came to stand on the porch with me, locking her dog behind her in the house.

“Hey. How are you?” She pushed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “You look well. Did you get everything sorted the other night? You know, the business? I’m sorry if I was a bit off with you at Harper and Brandon’s. I was just…” She was rambling. A clear sign she was nervous too.

“It’s fine. It’s okay. Yes, I got it sorted, and yes, I’m okay. You look well too.” I took a few breaths, wondering if the next words out of my mouth would be my biggest regret ever. “I came to the cinema. It was late and you were leaving, but I came. I saw you.”

“I didn’t see you there.” She wrinkled her nose up and stared at the ground like she was trying to remember. “Why didn’t you come over to us?”

“You looked busy. With Kian.” That was all I could say. My whole mouth had dried up and I kept my hands hidden behind my back so she couldn’t see me shaking.

“Kian?” She laughed and then her face turned deadly serious. “Oh my God, did you think something was going on? Seriously? You thought I went there with Kian?”

“He had his arm around you.” I spoke quietly. I didn’t want to sound like a jealous boyfriend, but my emotions were all over the place and I was losing my grip on reality.

“He had his arm around Ryan most of the night, and Emily too, until Ryan told him to fuck off. Did you really think I was with him?” She screwed her face up in disgust. “I don’t like Kian like that. I’d never do that to you.”

And just like that the weight pressing down on my chest––making it difficult to breathe––suddenly lifted.

I believed her.

I swallowed, feeling embarrassed that I’d had those thoughts in the first place. If I was truly honest with myself, the thought of Kian and Effy as a thing was ridiculous. Maybe the soldiers were messing with my head more than I realised? Them, and my uncle. My whole grasp on what was real was becoming distorted.