Who was I kidding? I was a fucking mess and barely hanging onto my sanity by a thread. Having him so close to me just now did things to my body that I wasn’t sure I liked. Or maybe I liked it a little too much. Whichever way I looked at it, I was screwed.
When he’d pushed himself against me, I felt something stir inside me, something so strong I didn’t think I had the willpower to fight it. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to lift up on my tiptoes and feel what it was like to have those plump lips of his pressing against mine.
Without a second thought, I’d put my hands on his chest and almost lost it when I felt his heart beating ten to the dozen under his overalls. Sure, he was cool, calm and collected on the outside, but touching his chest, I could feel the turmoil he felt deep inside. Angst that mirrored my own. Did I affect him as much as he affected me?
I used the last ounce of self-control I had in me and pushed him away. When I did, I saw something flicker in his eyes. Regret? Disappointment? I don’t know. This guy was good at masking his feelings. Not that I thought for a minute he had any kind of feelings for me. I was probably a conquest he hadn’t made yet. An easy target. If Danny was still alive, he’d have kicked Ryan’s ass for even looking at me. But he wasn’t here. And now, I had to do the ass kicking myself. I always had really. But it’d been nice to have a big brother around to back me up.
So, here I was, sitting in the truck waiting for him to drown me with his presence. Being near Ryan Hardy felt like being smothered by a shroud or choked by a dark fog. You didn’t know it was coming until it was too late, and then all you could focus on was him and how to survive. I needed to channel some soul-stifling vibes of my own. Assert my position in his fucked-up little mind games.
I felt the truck rocking as my car was secured on the back, and then the driver’s door opened and he jumped in next to me. He didn’t look at me though. Oh no. He was guarded and ready to go. As always.
I kept my head to the side and looked out of the passenger window as we pulled off and drove towards town. The atmosphere was tense, but I knew he wouldn’t stay quiet for long. He couldn’t help himself. He loved goading me.
“Doesn’t Daddy have his own mechanics on the payroll? I’m surprised you’d stoop so low as to need our help,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. I huffed and shook my head. Always with the daddy’s little girl bullshit. He knew nothing.
“First of all, what makes you think my dad even gives a shit about my car breaking down?”
“Doesn’t he?” He turned to face me, giving me a confused look, then he frowned and turned back to concentrate on driving.
“I rang my parents. They told me to deal with it. I’m not a pampered princess, despite what you and your little gang might think.” I folded my arms but kept going. “Secondly, yes, my dad has people on staff, but I don’t get involved in all that. Why? Are you pissed that you didn’t get the contract to maintain his collection?”
“Collection?” That’d sparked his interest.
“Yes. My dad collects classic cars. He has a guy who does all the maintenance. He’s never looked after my car though. Why would he?”
“Doesn’t daddy want to check you’re okay? Keep tabs on his prize little P.R. princess? Great spread in the Daily Mail the other day, by the way.” He was trying to mock me. It wouldn’t work.
“I didn’t take you for a Daily Mail reader.” I scoffed, hitting the ball right back into his court.
“I’m not. We sent screenshots to each other to take the piss out of how orange your mum and dad looked.”
I laughed at that one. I’d thought the same too. They loved their spray tans a little too much.
“So, how many does he have?”
“What, spray tans?”
“No, cars.” He gave a genuine laugh this time. “But I can imagine the spray tan bills are through the fucking roof.”
I stifled a laugh. I hadn’t expected to bond with Ryan Hardy, of all people, over my parents’ tanorexia.
“About fifteen the last time I checked.”
“Fuck. That’s impressive.” He nodded to himself. “What models?”
“Like I’d know that. One’s green, two are blue, he likes red the most, so he’s got about five of those…”
Ryan shook his head and laughed.
“Okay, I get the picture. You’re not a petrol-head. So, who’s the guy? The mechanic? Would I know him?”
“Why the sudden interest in my father’s affairs?” I turned in my seat to face him. My version of an interrogation.
“I’ve got no interest in your father whatsoever. I just like cars. I’m in the business. Thought I’d know him, that’s all.”
I narrowed my gaze at him, but it sounded legit, so I let it go. But for him, the subject of my father was still very much open for discussion.
“Must cost him a bit, to collect all those and keep them running. I didn’t think a politician’s wages were at that level. Got some dirty dealings you’re hiding there, Winters?” He was digging for dirt and doing a shit job at hiding it.