Consequences of a Hot Havana Night

‘You’re wrong,’ he said quietly.

‘I know all about fear. And not the kind of fear you’re talking about.’

His chest tightened. ‘Do you remember when we were at the plantation and my father called and we argued about me climbing El Capitan? You asked me why I wanted to do something like that.’

She nodded. ‘You said it helped you forget about work and about how you felt you’d let your parents down.’

‘That’s what I told you.’ He cleared his throat. ‘And I suppose on some level I was telling you the truth. But it’s not the whole truth.’ His pulse accelerated. ‘After Celia I was scared of being myself. I was scared to trust my own judgement. I was scared of falling in love. And I hated feeling like that. I hated letting fear govern my behaviour. I hated being a coward.’

Reaching out, he took her hand again.

‘And that’s why I climb rock faces without a rope, why I pushed myself to the limit. It was so I could prove to myself that I wasn’t a coward. But the truth is I was still a coward. I was still living in the past, hiding behind the bikes and the boats, still scared...’

The concern in her eyes made his heart swell.

‘And maybe if you hadn’t been out on that road that evening I’d still be scared.’ His fingers tightened around hers. ‘Before I met you I was living a lie, pretending to everyone that my life was exactly how I wanted it to be. But I wasn’t really living. I was just carving up each week into days, and each day into hours, and filling them up so I didn’t have to face my fears. And then I met you and everything I thought I wanted was worthless. Meaningless.’

He breathed out unsteadily and, lifting her hand, he pressed it gently against his lips.

‘You know earlier today, when I was diving, I realised that nothing makes my heart beat as fast as you do. And all of that, and all of this—my business, my wealth—I could give it all up in a heartbeat. Because it doesn’t mean anything unless we’re together. You and me and the baby.’

* * *

Kitty could hardly breathe.

You and me and the baby.

She stared at him, tears burning her eyes. César wasn’t the only one living in the past. And like him she’d been viewing that past selectively as though through the wrong end of a telescope. Her vision had shrunk and her memories had focused on the sadness of losing Jimmy, not on the happiness of loving him, so that she’d become terrified of loving again. Only she’d never stopped loving that whole time. She loved her family, and she loved this baby growing inside her, and she loved César too.

And he was right. It would be the same in England as in Havana. Changing the location wouldn’t change how she felt. Nothing could change that.

Her heart was beating out of time, aching with a love she could finally express. ‘That’s all I want too.’

Her tears were falling now, but she let them fall, and as he pulled her against him her tears mingled with his.

‘I love you.’ He kissed her fiercely. ‘I love you so much.’

‘And I love you too.’

For a moment they just gazed at one another, breathing in each other’s happiness, and then, reaching down, Kitty twisted his wrist to look at his watch.

‘It’s the same time in Florida as it is here, so I guess your parents will be asleep, won’t they?’

César shook his head. ‘Probably not. They still eat late, and they always have a siesta—’

‘And what time is it in England?’

He frowned. ‘It’s about five o’clock in the morning.’

‘Then we should probably call your parents first.’

‘We should?’

She bit her lip. Her heart was pounding. ‘Well, you want to invite them to the wedding, don’t you?’

He stared at her blankly. ‘The wedding...?’

‘Unless you want to wait