Earlier, as her hot skin had fused with his, desire as raw and potent as moonshine had driven all conscious thoughts and most unconscious ones from his head. He’d never been so perfectly out of control in his life, and Lottie’s unrestrained, passionate response had left him craving more.
Only, was that all he was craving?
His heartbeat accelerated.
At any other time in his life, with any other woman, his answer would have been an unequivocal yes. But, remembering how he had felt when finally he’d forced himself to leave her bed that morning, he felt his chest grow tight.
Whatever he had said to Lottie, did he really believe that they could just stop and go back to their own lives at the end of three weeks? More importantly, did he want them to?
He tensed. The answer to that was an unequivocal no. And it wasn’t just sex. Living with Lottie and Sóley felt right; they were a family now.
And that was great—except he already
had a family, and the idea of introducing one to the other was just not something he could handle right now.
Maybe not ever...
Thirty minutes later Ragnar zipped up his jacket and gazed at the sky. The sun was rising at a shallower angle every day, and today it was barely visible behind a low, bleached grey bank of cloud, but at least it wasn’t raining or snowing.
There were any number of possible routes he could have chosen for today’s ride, but he’d said that he wanted Lottie to see the estate, and that meant heading up the hillside.
He might have made a different decision if Lottie had been a less experienced rider but, although it was true that she was a little rigid at the start, once she’d relaxed on Orvar, the beautiful chestnut gelding he’d chosen for her, he could see that she had perfect balance and an easy, open riding style.
Turning his own horse—a bay mare called Camille—away from the jagged iced-up edge of a stream, he moved steadily with her towards the ridge, letting the horses choose the pace, trusting them to pick their way across the uneven ground.
Feeling his phone vibrate inside his jacket, he gritted his teeth. The ongoing saga between his mother and half-sister had now sucked in his ex-stepfather Nathan and his other half-sister Freya, and he was desperate to find a resolution.
Glancing over at the expression of unguarded sweetness on Lottie’s face, he felt his heart beat faster. Right now, they could wait.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked.
‘Fine.’ She smiled shyly. ‘I think that’s more down to Orvar than me. I mean, he’s a strong horse, but I just have to switch my weight a little and he does exactly what I want. He’s so quick to react, so responsive.’
He turned to look across at her, a pulse beating down his spine. ‘Not with everyone. He is a strong horse, but you’re not fighting his strength. Your hands are gentle, and that’s why he’s not pulling.’ His eyes locked with hers. ‘Like a lot of powerful males, he just needs the right handling. I think he’s okay with you being the boss.’
He watched her fingers curl against the reins.
‘Probably because he knows it’s only going to be a short ride,’ she said quietly.
His phone vibrated again and, watching the curiosity in her eyes, he realised that he would have to answer it after all.
‘Sorry. I’m going to have to take this,’ he said and, unzipping his jacket, he pulled out his phone.
* * *
Watching Ragnar edge his horse away, Lottie breathed out unsteadily.
She had thought that getting away from the house and out into the cool air would be a good idea. Obviously it was going to be difficult to make sense of how she was feeling in Ragnar’s home, and with Ragnar himself so distractingly close.
Mounting Orvar, it had been easy to persuade herself that the way she was feeling was normal for someone who had just had sex after nearly two years of celibacy. Not just take-it-or-leave-it sex, either. Ragnar made her head swim. And, after thinking about it for so long, it was only natural that she was going to have some kind of emotional response to his relationship with Sóley.
But now, out here in the pale grey light, with the cool wind in her face, they weren’t having sex, and Sóley was back at the house, and yet the feeling of her world turning upside down persisted.
She glanced over to where Ragnar was talking. It was impossible not to catch occasional snippets of his conversation and it was clear that he was comforting someone—someone female.
‘Okay, I will talk to Nathan, but you have to apologise. Because she’s our mother—’
Her pulse jumped a beat.