When the Dark Wins

I set a foot uncertainly on the bottom step, but almost immediately pull back. This could be another trick—a test—and I won’t play for anything he isn’t willing to compensate me for.

“Don’t you want to know what we said?” Stone asks curiously. “Or at least what he said?”

I shake my head even though I know he can’t see my response, but I refuse to speak to him right now. He promised he wouldn’t hurt me, and while I’ve been through much worse physically, I’m sick with the feeling that I thought he cared.

Stupid girl; always looking for comfort in the arms of strangers.

It’s clear to me now that I hadn’t thought this through. I was swayed by the promise of my own personal little dreams of having a place to live and dismissed the obvious danger that was lurking behind Lowell’s eyes when he first approached me.

“Cessi? Can you hear me? I feel like I’m talking to a wall right now,” Stone complains in exasperation.

Because you are.

I turn toward him and stick my middle finger in the air. Even though he can’t see me, it’s nice to be able to tell him to fuck off.

“Oh, I see. You’re mad at me. Why? Cause you didn’t get to cum?” he asks. I can feel the smirk on his face, and it makes me angry, but I still say nothing to him. He’s desperate for conversation and he assumes that if he can sting me with his words, I’ll speak.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I’m just fucking losing my mind down here, you know? I hate that there’s someone in this room with me and not speaking. It’s like Lowell the first time he chained me down here and it’s starting to freak me out if you want me to be honest.”

He lets out a long, tired breath and I can hear the chains scrape along the ground as he gets to his feet. He grunts against his new restrictions and sighs.

“Will you at least come here and let me hold you? I know it won’t mean shit to you, but it’ll make me feel a little bit better about being in the dark—verbally and visually,” he finishes with a mumble.

His suggestion is cruel in the fact that he knows that I want to be needed. He felt it when he first laid down on top of me, with the first kiss placed so softly against my neck, he knew that I wanted nothing more than to feel wanted.

“Cessi? Please?”

I close my eyes and sigh. I’ve never had a man beg me to let them put their arms around me before and it strikes a nerve in me, but not in the way it should. If I let my guard down with Stone again, is it what Lowell wants? Will we have to dance for him again or will he even care?

I don’t want to do anything to anger him because he holds our lives in his hands and the slightest misstep can lead to our downfall.

Fuck.

I walk in a straight line, unable to see where I’m going. Stone rattles his chains again in an attempt to put his arms around me and I realize that I’ve walked much too far to the right. I turn to the left and hold my hands out, finally grazing his arm with my fingertips and move closer to his body.

“Thank you,” he whispers gently into my ear as he does his best to wrap his arms around me. Because of his newly acquired chains, he’s only able to hold me by the hips, but he pulls me closely against him and breathes deeply.

“Don’t be mad at me, okay? I say stupid shit when I’m nervous. Just… talk to me Cessi; all we’ve got is each other now,” he says, softly brushing his lips against my hair.

My heart races slightly as his words, but I quickly manage a way to calm myself. I have to be smart from here on out, and I have to realize that he’s only saying these things because of the situation we’re in. If Stone still looked like what I think he did before Lowell got a hold of him, he wouldn’t have given me a second glance on any other day in an ordinary life scenario.

He’s scared; even though he hasn’t said it, he has to be because I am too.

“What did he promise you?” I finally ask, breaking my vow of silence against Stone’s steadily heaving chest. “Money?”

“No,” he replies as he nuzzles his mouth against the top of my head. It’s almost as if he’s in a world of his own right now.

“Then what did you promise him?” I ask, taking a step away. Stone chuckles and attempts to pull me back into him, but I pull farther away and move just out of his reach.

He lets out a sigh and drops his hands to his sides. “What does anyone want? What do you want?”

“To be free,” I reply quietly.

“No. That’s not what I’m talking about. Don’t be in this moment, Cessi. Be outside of these walls walking the streets, looking into cars for a potential new client, and tell me what it is that you want.”

“I… I want to be loved,” I finally say, wiping away a stray tear.

“Bingo.”